Dad jokes. . Dad: son you' re adopted Dad: hi adopted, I' m not your dad. Kid: A solos l. Me: Dad I'm serious Dad: Hi Serious, how are you? Me:.... one day... cut to 6 years later. Dad: Son, SON HELP ME!! Me: By golly gosh jee willikers with puddin p Dad jokes adopted funny
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> hey anon, wanna give your opinion?
asd
#1 - faimbot
Reply +83 123456789123345869
(03/20/2014) [-]
Me: Dad I'm serious   
Dad: Hi Serious, how are you?   
Me:.... one day...   
   
cut to 6 years later.   
   
Dad: Son, SON HELP ME!!   
Me: By golly gosh jee willikers with puddin pop and sweet potato pie whats wrong?   
Dad: I'm having a heart attack   
Me: Hi having a heart attack, how are you   
Dad: FFS NO TIME FOR JOKES!! Call me an ambulance   
Me: ok you are an ambulance.   
Dad: I'm.... dying   
Me: hi dying.   
....   
Me: hi dying.   
....   
.....   
.....   
 Me: Let me guess, you were serious?    
   
   
Now onto the movie rights!!!
Me: Dad I'm serious
Dad: Hi Serious, how are you?
Me:.... one day...

cut to 6 years later.

Dad: Son, SON HELP ME!!
Me: By golly gosh jee willikers with puddin pop and sweet potato pie whats wrong?
Dad: I'm having a heart attack
Me: Hi having a heart attack, how are you
Dad: FFS NO TIME FOR JOKES!! Call me an ambulance
Me: ok you are an ambulance.
Dad: I'm.... dying
Me: hi dying.
....
Me: hi dying.
....
.....
.....
Me: Let me guess, you were serious?


Now onto the movie rights!!!
User avatar #16 to #1 - catdogdora
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/20/2014) [-]
Bye dying
#14 to #1 - xenoquack
Reply +8 123456789123345869
(03/20/2014) [-]
Comment Picture
User avatar #15 to #14 - ivviism
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/20/2014) [-]
That made me laugh a lot harder than it should have
#10 to #1 - olizandri
Reply +9 123456789123345869
(03/20/2014) [-]
nah, i think he was snape.
#2 - married
Reply +28 123456789123345869
(03/20/2014) [-]
Heres two things that my dad told me that **** me up worse than my uncle ;)
1 he told me that Im retarded and that I go to a rerard school and I dont realize it because everyone else in the school is retarded so it just seems normal to me.
2 he told me that the songs played on the ice cream truck, it meant that they were out of ice cream ( so I never got exited when the ice cream truck came around, which was rare)
#12 to #2 - rishworth
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/20/2014) [-]
During dinner one evening, my mother got a little tipsy and told me she never wanted me. She wanted a horse.
User avatar #17 to #2 - payseht
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/20/2014) [-]
"You're spit to me. Spit that I stepped on and can't clean off my shoe"

Gotta love my dad... he says the funniest things when he's drunk, like this one time he said "You've done nothing all your life and continue to do nothing." when he meant "I love you, son"
User avatar #6 to #2 - theblargypargler
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(03/20/2014) [-]
The first one's pretty mean, but the second is actually quite clever.
User avatar #9 to #2 - pwnigator
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(03/20/2014) [-]
"I ****** your mom"

For ****** sake dad :I
#4 - theannoyingFJguy
Reply +15 123456789123345869
(03/20/2014) [-]
If he's not a real dad how dare he make dad jokes?
If he's not a real dad how dare he make dad jokes?
User avatar #8 to #4 - baaltomekk
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(03/20/2014) [-]
He could have other children. he just said this one was not his.
User avatar #11 - drunkasaurus
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(03/20/2014) [-]
My Dad used to tell me to wait on the sidewalk of parking lots while he pulled up the car, then he would drive by me with the windows down laughing and I'd start crying and he'd come back like 5 minutes later and be like "Oh sorry I forgot you haha!" He did this maybe 5 or 6 times before I realized I should just walk with him to the car. Apparently he also did it to my Mom a few times and she almost broke up with him because of it.
#3 - sirkanesixtytwo
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(03/20/2014) [-]
Dad: "i'm your dad."

Dad: *hugs son*
#13 - anon id: bf4a6abc
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/20/2014) [-]
Happy version:
DAD: Son, your adopted.
SON: I'm..I'm adopted?!
DAD: Hi adopted... im still Dad.
SON&DAD: [Feels]
User avatar #7 - manofbeardliness
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/20/2014) [-]
Reminded me of this.

Things That Ruin Thanksgiving
#5 - skullball
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/20/2014) [-]