Dad comp vol.3
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21 comments displayed.
#2
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kristovsky (09/02/2015) [-] 
Kind of makes me wish my dad hadn't been a drunken, abusive cunt. Glad he's gone.
#3 to #2
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harrypottergirl (09/02/2015) [-] I know that feel brother. let it out, let it go and be a much better dad than he ever was
#5 to #2
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wastedfate (09/03/2015) [-]
It is our duty to be better than our dads. To never abuse people. To not follow in their footsteps. <3
#10
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ritzrules ONLINE (09/03/2015) [-] "I can't eat birthday cake, drags up bad memories."
>What do you mean, dad?<
"Well, when I was 4 I had the first birthday party I can remember. I had a lot of friends over, some family, even my grandparents showed up out of the blue. And my mom brought out a nice homemade cake with four candles. They all sang, and when I blew out the candles my grandma had a heart attack. She died ten minutes after, only right after the ambulance arrived. The whole experience taught me to be very careful what you wish for."
My dad is long-winded and straight ******* savage fam
>What do you mean, dad?<
"Well, when I was 4 I had the first birthday party I can remember. I had a lot of friends over, some family, even my grandparents showed up out of the blue. And my mom brought out a nice homemade cake with four candles. They all sang, and when I blew out the candles my grandma had a heart attack. She died ten minutes after, only right after the ambulance arrived. The whole experience taught me to be very careful what you wish for."
My dad is long-winded and straight ******* savage fam
#6
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brandinifettucine (09/03/2015) [-] No, but I have recently heard about the midget psychic that escaped from prison. They call him the small medium at large.
#4
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missoracle (09/02/2015) [-] My dad used to do the "It'ls like making love in a canoe" all the time. :C
#16
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funnyhat (09/03/2015) [-]
"why do dads sneeze so loud?"
"my dad sneezed so violently he almost knocked himself out"
"oh, yeah? Well, MY gradnfather sneezed so loud he broke the couch!"
"Oh, YEAH?! Well, MY dad sneezed so loud he broke the house!"
"OH, YEAH?! Well, MY DAD sneezed so loud he broke THE PLANET!"
that's how I imagine it going
"my dad sneezed so violently he almost knocked himself out"
"oh, yeah? Well, MY gradnfather sneezed so loud he broke the couch!"
"Oh, YEAH?! Well, MY dad sneezed so loud he broke the house!"
"OH, YEAH?! Well, MY DAD sneezed so loud he broke THE PLANET!"
that's how I imagine it going
#11
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whyunofeellucky (09/03/2015) [-]
I think some dads do these jokes same reason Spiderman does, to ignore the stress of putting up with a bunch of little ***** for the rest of your life
#21
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boobpube (09/03/2015) [-] I once had a dog called Minton who ate all of my shuttlecocks... BAD MINTON!
#17
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anon (09/03/2015) [-]
My dad is pretty nice. But the rpoblem is that he is sort of a badass.. he hunts a lot, he is a former boxer. He was almost gunned down by mafia in 90's post-ussr.
He is not very hip with jokes (a complete contrast to me, who's sort of a born comedian. Fuark, I am going to be the next George Carlin in few decades).
My friend on the opposite has a dad who's sort of a walking grumpy clown. Spent his whole life in entertainment business, he seems always overworked, but he can make a joke anytime.
My dear friend is sort of already bored of his dad and they have sort of love-hate relationship.
And I love that my dad, despite not being the most extrovert funnyman is serious and at the same time the best listener.
I guess the ..supposed shortcomings of my folks helped me become more social back in the day.
He is not very hip with jokes (a complete contrast to me, who's sort of a born comedian. Fuark, I am going to be the next George Carlin in few decades).
My friend on the opposite has a dad who's sort of a walking grumpy clown. Spent his whole life in entertainment business, he seems always overworked, but he can make a joke anytime.
My dear friend is sort of already bored of his dad and they have sort of love-hate relationship.
And I love that my dad, despite not being the most extrovert funnyman is serious and at the same time the best listener.
I guess the ..supposed shortcomings of my folks helped me become more social back in the day.
#14
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archerthefolf (09/03/2015) [-] Oh god haha. Reminds me of my dad. Total asshole but awesome at the same time. Unfortunately he was a drinker, and would always go to the bar and fight. Still though, man taught me most of the stuff I know.
I remember one time, he had made some type of cake, and he called me in and was like so proud of it. So he tells me to smell it, I go in, sniff, and back up. He says "what does it smell like?" and i said I wasnt sure, so he said smell it again. When I went to go smell it he yelled, "smells like someone being gullible" and then he slammed my face into the cake. He did it so hard i hit my nose on the bottom and cracked the bowl. I wasn't hurt, more shocked, but he was absolutely laughing his ass off for a good 2 hours. I miss him. I never really learned all the stuff he wanted to teach me.
I remember one time, he had made some type of cake, and he called me in and was like so proud of it. So he tells me to smell it, I go in, sniff, and back up. He says "what does it smell like?" and i said I wasnt sure, so he said smell it again. When I went to go smell it he yelled, "smells like someone being gullible" and then he slammed my face into the cake. He did it so hard i hit my nose on the bottom and cracked the bowl. I wasn't hurt, more shocked, but he was absolutely laughing his ass off for a good 2 hours. I miss him. I never really learned all the stuff he wanted to teach me.
#7
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bloodyrush (09/03/2015) [-]
at a McDonalds near by me a girl sneezed while at the drive through register and knocked herself out by hitting her head on the screen.
