Crib For Sale. . Innovative Baby Products original ad: LARGE one WANTED I need a ) crib tor my a month be The crib I have right new is too small - he keeps clim CRIB RAGANATION
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Crib For Sale

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Innovative Baby Products
original ad:
I need a ) crib tor my a month be The crib I have right new is
too small - he keeps climbing butt I need a crib that is too high tor my
baby to get out of l Please respond with pictures Contact Julia @
Hey Julia,
I may have the perfect crib tor you. It is a very large crib that has seine
features to prevent your baby from escaping. Please let me know if you
are interested-
From Julia to Me:
How big is it? Do you have any pictures of it?
From Me to Julia “W:
It is very large- As I said, it has modifications to prevent escape- The entire
top perimeter of the crib has been reinforced with a metal frame that is
connected to a car battery. When someone tries to escape the crib, they
will be given a gentile electric shock, which will discourage them from
attempting to climb out of the crib again. The price includes a 12 volt car
battery, but a battery can always be purchased, depending
on how tat your child is- Here is a picture of the setup:
I am currently using the crib tor one of my friends who happens to be a
midget- He tends to frequently get drunk and violent, so we put him in this
crib when he starts getting belligerent. The battery works great tor keeping
him in, so I am assuming it will work great tor your child. The only reason I
am getting rid of it is because the midget was recently arrested tor arson,
so he won' t be around tor a while.
I have something else that you may be interested in as welt- Are you tired
of waking up in the middle of the night to the sound of your baby crying'?
with this clever device, you won' t even have to get out of bed to calm your
It is a little that I invented called "The ." Simply hang it
above the crib, and the microphone will detect when the baby is crying- If
the crying reac hes a certain decibel level, the box will spray a calming mist
of pepper spray into the crib- It trains your baby not to cry in no time! It
worked great on the midget when he started yelling. It comes with 2% CS
pepper spray, which is practically harmless. It can be upgraded to bear
mace ofyour child continues to cry. I have decorated the with
friendly smiley faces to comfort your baby-
I am asking tor the , and tor the combo.
Let the know if you want to set up a time to stop by and check this stuff out
From Julia ' to Me:
Oh my god
From Julia ' to Me:
Please tell me you' re kidding. You' re kidding, right?
Why would I be kidding? I thought was more than reasonable. I got a
lot of use out of these things before social services took my kid away. I still
do whenever the midget comes over.
From Julia ' to Me:
I... don' t know what to say to you. You are a disgusting exc use tor a human
being. How dare you ever think that I would use this tor my child. Don' t you
ever email me again, you scumbag-
From Me to Julia “TI
I' been called some harsh things tor my haggling tactics, but you seem
to have been very offended by the price I have offered. I am sow; I had
no Intention of offending you. I will drop the total price to Stand tor
everything, and I' ll even throw this in tor free:
Now you won' t have to get up to give your baby a bottle when he is thirsty-
This handy will alley: your baby to quench his thirst any time he
wants. It doesn' t have to necessarily be filled with tequila [like I said, this
crib was set up tor a midget). It can easily be filled with Gatorade, breast
milk, or whatever else your baby prefers- Throw in a can of food and the
baby can practically live on his own!
Please let me know when you are going to pick this stuff up. I am going to
Atlantic City tor the weekend, so I need you to get it before I leave-
Than ks,
i? ',h/ stl rmitch tibit,
Views: 3760 Submitted: 10/13/2013
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#1 - kresskh
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(10/14/2013) [-]
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#3 - flapz
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#2 - jwagswashere
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(10/14/2013) [-]
The greatest thing ever    
*this week*
The greatest thing ever
*this week*