Clients From Hell Comp. I forgot to put the source on the comp even if its obvious, here it is: clientsfromhell.net/. El] I ET( rall' i. III: VIII.' I ' sum at  Clients from Hel clients it problems leobreacker phanact is cool
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Clients From Hell Comp

I forgot to put the source on the comp even if its obvious, here it is: clientsfromhell.net/

El] I ET( rall' i. III: VIII.' I ' sum at sums at his
hiss, this t: i: imh thus the mist an hour In millees lust sit I
that all the lines aligned and whatnot. I hush: it he of use have on
sit I dill my ] malts it ! shirt‘ it it still Sli[: IIS.
Iwas at the airport, ready to leave for vacation when I got a panicked phone call
from a client. She stated that the video I sent her- part of a large marketing
campaign - was missing the sound. After a lot of shouting and threats on her part, I
agreed to CIC) to her office try and fix it.
After being escorted into her office, I played the video and her
computer' s sound options. Then I unplugged her headphones. Then I billed herfra
my missed flight.
At aam, a website template for a client WIT!) had to have it "by Earn
theirtoys," I sent an email letting her knda that it was finished. The next day I get a
call:
CLIENT: I ddn' t appreciate yde staying out all night when yde should be wdcking on
my project.
ME: I' m sorry? I was wdcking all last night. As yde can see, I sent yde an femail -
CLIENT: I see that. At aam. Do we think it' s okayed party all night and then WEI?
without sleep at aam? It' s very unprofessional and morally reprehensible.
ME: What makes we think I was out partying?
CLIENT: Why else wield we be up at aam?
ME: the gave my 24 hours to do ll? hours . I had to stay up
CLIENT: Dent try to ese math on mel
THE CLIENT IS ALWAYS RIGHT
CLIENT: I' m netted sere about the blue...
ME: Actually, that' s green.
CLIENT: WHO' S the client?
ME: You.
CLIENT: And what color is it?
CLIENT: Right. New let me see what other shades of blue we have.
We settled on "blue."
After sending we invoices for payment, I sent another and called the client when
the receipt that they had received it came back.
CLIENT: Why are we calling me?
ME: the habent paid and this is the third invoice We sent.
CLIENT: It' s even more than the last anel
ME: Yes. The contraction signed stated that I wield add a late fee for payment.
CLIENT: the mean I have to actually pay you? I thoughtout .
ME: What on earth made we ********* ?
CLIENT: Youre a freelancer!
CLIENT: Well, we vvc) . ffyou were supposed to be paid, we' d be called a
pryolancer ' something!
CLIENT: "I ddn' t like the type."
ME: "What ddn' t we like."
CLIENT: "I dent like hdw it gees all to one side."
ME: "the mean ranged left."
CLIENT: "Yes, yes, arranged left."
ME: "HEW do we want it?"
CLIENT: "To be the same on both sides."
ME: "justified?"
CLIENT: "I ddn' t have anything foryou. I dwn the ******* company."
i was hired by a regicides weep do an illustration for their printed brochure. They
mixed if, andl sent them an invoice. We months eatery hadn' t been paid.
i dated them, and their manager said they had prayed God about my in voice,
and He told them ese the money for their Cause instead.
i waited a few minutes and dated him back. i told him that i had prayed God
about if, and He said they should pay me.
They sent me a check.
...
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Views: 36212
Favorited: 67
Submitted: 07/02/2014
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Comments(64):

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#1 - thedecodedgamer (07/02/2014) [+] (6 replies)
stickied by leobreacker
User avatar #3 - Lambda (07/03/2014) [+] (8 replies)
I am so glad that my boss rejects the "customer is always right" philosophy in favor of "the customer is usually retarded".
The way we do things is, the customer NEEDS us. We do not NEED them. People are lined up to have us work on their systems. There are plenty of customers, only one of us. So if the customer is gonna be a dick, **** em, we don't work for assholes.
#7 - vorarephilia ONLINE (07/03/2014) [+] (6 replies)
#28 - awesomedewd (07/03/2014) [+] (1 reply)
I have a nice story from my uncle who does everything that has to do with IT in the company he works in.

He once made a little script that updates a few things, so that he didn't have to do it all over again on every single pc.
He even made a little presentation, it's not a big company, to show everyone what will be done and changed.
They only had to start the file, wait till it's done and continue working.

nonetheless... he got a call.
> client: "It's not working for me"
> uncle goes to check what's wrong
> uncle: "show me what you were doing"
> client clicks file
> window for the script opens, pic related
> client clicks on the "x" to close the just opened window to close
> uncle: "Why did you do that?"
> client: "I don't need it."
User avatar #12 - forbesydemon ONLINE (07/03/2014) [-]
I can relate to the first one. Sometimes when you're tired you overlook simple things.
Half greentext storytime
>Spend ages installing Assassin's Creed 3
>Dick around for quite a while getting it to work
>Turns out to be Russian version with written language hacked into English. No idea how this happened, but I blame Ubisoft.
>No sound
>ok
>Update sound driver
>Completely remove then re-install game, still doesn't work
>Spend an hour searching the net for the sound files by themselves, can't find anything legit enough to trust
>About to give up, look at time in bottom right of screen
>2am, started at 11pm
>hangon.gif
Notice speakers have been muted THE WHOLE ******* TIME.
>Piss myself with angry laughter
>Pretty sure I woke up the whole house
>Go to bed victorious
#35 - oceloy (07/03/2014) [-]
hfw
hfw
#34 - oceloy (07/03/2014) [-]
"Don't try to use math on me!"
User avatar #5 - usamajime (07/03/2014) [-]
It makes me feel good that while although I'm not terribly smart with computers, I'll never be this stupid.
#44 - dorfdorfdorf ONLINE (07/03/2014) [-]
paidlancer   
   
just the idea that someone could be so moronic as to not understand the term 'freelancer' fills me with the rage of a billion suns
paidlancer

just the idea that someone could be so moronic as to not understand the term 'freelancer' fills me with the rage of a billion suns
#26 - butiloveu (07/03/2014) [-]
This comp...
#24 - englishteapot (07/03/2014) [-]
these don't make me laugh, they make me angry
#43 - fragman (07/03/2014) [-]
paidlancer
paidlancer
#39 - neoexdeath ONLINE (07/03/2014) [-]
Pay your damn bill dude, don't Jew him out of his hard earned money. There's a reason I've still got that one Hebrew guy wandering the earth. That'll teach him to shortchange Jesus ******* Christ for a goddamn Falafel.
User avatar #15 - tehpoonages (07/03/2014) [+] (5 replies)
The one about blue was obviously just messin around.
#51 - mrfartypants (07/03/2014) [-]
>be men when i was about 13 maybe 14
>love playing runescape play all i can
>play on our family's old cheap ass computer at night because only time i can use it
>computer starts ******* up one day
>dad says i runescape is putting vviruses on the computer and says i cant play it anymore
>feels bad man.. dont play it for a long time
>about a week later decide to attempt to look something up and see someone has been looking up lesiban porn and ass porn and every other kind of porn you can thing of.
>find out dad had been the one that had put the viruses and still wasnt aloud to play runescape.
>i hate my dad.
User avatar #30 - asmodeu (07/03/2014) [-]
The paidlancer one made me feel the fury of 10 000 suns with the equivalent feeling of cancer provided by 10 000 suns.
#55 - finalfantasymaster (07/03/2014) [-]
"it's a wireless printer why would it have to be pluged in?!"   
"you are a freelancer if you had to get paid you would be a paidlancer or something!"   
these two made my rage boil my blood
"it's a wireless printer why would it have to be pluged in?!"
"you are a freelancer if you had to get paid you would be a paidlancer or something!"
these two made my rage boil my blood
User avatar #25 - Einsty (07/03/2014) [-]
>be me, 3 years ago
>be at uncle's
>cousin is a cool dude
>needs help with computer
>can't connect to wi-fi
>I do a routine check
>mystery.zip
>check the laptop all around
>find a wireless indicator
>glows orange
>turns out it's a button
>press it, turns blue
>all works
>deity in charge of silicon and copper be praised
#57 - imnotkickthecat (07/03/2014) [-]
It aint easy being blue.
User avatar #11 - cuntism (07/03/2014) [-]
My god some of these are infuriating, especially the one saying what he can and can't do in his spare time.

It's stuff like this is why I never went into computers as a career
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