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cancer

Sitting at home, alone in the
house, i feel actually kind of
peaceful], typing this up. I have
already accepted my fate. I was
diagnosed with cancer a week
7 KB we ago, and the doctors gave me 2
months to live, and right now i
just really want to share the story of how i got
cancer. So here It is.
First, a bit of backstory.
me, 14 years old
year
second day of school, make a friend who we
will call Mike
was a few years older than me
really close with mike
the time, kissless virgin
with girls
for a girlfriend
tells me that it' s easy to talk to girls
don' t be nervous and talkto one
llv' e always been too nervous to even approach
a grill
day, he literally pushes me infront a girl i
like
Hey this is anon."
Twalks away
panick, and she kind of giggles
end up talking
actually kind of nice
and female become friends
Fastforward 2 years later
and female end up dating
Stating for a year and a half
become known as the Lily and Marshal of
my highschool
do everything together
is having a party at his house
and female go
have a few drinks, but g has alot more than i
gets some cigaretts and starts smoking
with some guy
tries to make me smoke too
try it, but have a coughing fit and don' t do it
again
starts to get anoyed that i won' t smoke with
her
Whatever" she says and walks off visually
frustrated
partying with Mike and make a few new
friends.
Laater, i can' t find gt
Pstart asking around for her
girl says she saw her go upstairs with
guy
********
sees me run upstairs and follows me
a bedroom door and see her with her top
off, making out with stonerfag
m stunned. Speachless
grabs guy and throws him off the bed
Shemale starts crying and saying sorry
over and hugs me
Not gonna ask ifi can continet because not a
Cont? cunt
Cont pleeaase
itting" s '' Etti 3 V
...
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Views: 97063
Favorited: 243
Submitted: 07/28/2015
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[ 141 comments ]
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57 comments displayed.
User avatar #14 - alphagex (07/29/2015) [-]
I'm actually happy he did not get cancer from cigs and it was all a joke.
User avatar #7 - SteyrAUG (07/29/2015) [-]
>Long-ass 4chan post
>Skip to last line
>That post gave me cancer

Welp, dodged that bullet.
#123 to #7 - anon (07/30/2015) [-]
same
User avatar #130 to #7 - PebbleBinder (07/30/2015) [-]
i was your one thousandth thumb (y)
User avatar #133 to #130 - SteyrAUG (07/30/2015) [-]
Thanks!
#32 to #7 - anon (07/29/2015) [-]
as did I
#23 to #7 - anon (07/29/2015) [-]
you must be fun at parties
#128 to #23 - anon (07/30/2015) [-]
you must be that guy who wants jokes to be taken seriously.
#81 to #23 - anon (07/29/2015) [-]
im sure the parties love guys who can't think of an original joke like you faggot
User avatar #140 to #81 - circularsquare (08/13/2015) [-]
You must be fun at parties.
#93 to #7 - anon (07/29/2015) [-]
its not the destination its the journey

stop being an edgy smeglord
User avatar #100 to #93 - elcreepo (07/29/2015) [-]
Journey?

What's the point of being taken for a ride if the destination sucks?
#137 to #100 - tarabostes (08/02/2015) [-]
The point is you ridin' dis dik
User avatar #138 to #137 - elcreepo (08/03/2015) [-]
Can't ride something that isn't long enough to penetrate
#139 to #138 - tarabostes (08/03/2015) [-]
LoL u wot m8
How would u even know how big it is??
Dumb **** , ask nicely for a dick pic and maybe i'll think about it ;)
#88 to #7 - niggymon (07/29/2015) [-]
** ******** used "*roll picture*"**
** ******** rolled image**To b e honest, i read and enjoyed the whole thing, made my laugh much more enjoyable
#92 to #7 - chupavisor (07/29/2015) [-]
Knew it would be, went for the ride anyway
#41 to #7 - anon (07/29/2015) [-]
how is it less enjoyable than any other fake stories?
#99 to #7 - elcreepo (07/29/2015) [-]
>long ass 4chan post
>subject: cancer
>skip to last line
>pic related
#25 to #7 - carrotpotato (07/29/2015) [-]
These stories can be really fun even when they end up to get on the ground, dance the elephant. Like the story of Ving and Ling.

This one was **** tho.
#29 to #25 - SuperSixONE ONLINE (07/29/2015) [-]
"get on the ground, dance the elephant"
***** what?
User avatar #45 to #29 - enterthefapcave (07/29/2015) [-]
OPEN THE DOOR.

GET ON THE FLOOR.

EVERYBODY WALK THE DINOSAUR.
#78 to #45 - avatice (07/29/2015) [-]
how about this?
how about this?
#56 to #45 - carrotpotato (07/29/2015) [-]
Exact-o
User avatar #83 to #25 - relvel (07/29/2015) [-]
What the **** is the elephant?
User avatar #101 to #83 - elcreepo (07/29/2015) [-]
FWAMP
User avatar #6 - thesunpraiser (07/29/2015) [-]
I knew where this was going, so I skipped to the end to check for shenanigans.
#53 to #6 - blowbags ONLINE (07/29/2015) [-]
I am also wise to this jazz, so I too am great. Brain tumour? fatal disease other than cancer? maybe... cancer... it's gunna be a build up to OP/summert like that

#9 - confusticated (07/29/2015) [-]
I cant believe i ******* fell for that.
#2 - imalamp (07/28/2015) [-]
#49 to #2 - krayon (07/29/2015) [-]
**krayon used "*roll picture*"**
**krayon rolled image** I bet you're ready aren't you?
#8 - yuzero (07/29/2015) [-]
**yuzero used "*roll picture*"**
**yuzero rolled image** no!
#22 - improbable (07/29/2015) [-]
i never trust these walls of texts anymore so i skip to the end instantly
#85 to #22 - anon (07/29/2015) [-]
Rare tete
#86 to #22 - anon (07/29/2015) [-]
Rare tete
User avatar #108 to #22 - defski (07/29/2015) [-]
But that just ruins the fun of reading the text...
#77 to #22 - killerofcows (07/29/2015) [-]
But skipping to the end is spoiler

I enjoy them even though I know they are fake

We all do when it comes to hollywood movies, why not greentexts ?
User avatar #84 to #77 - improbable (07/29/2015) [-]
personally i dont like being rused so that is why i skip them
#87 to #77 - anon (07/29/2015) [-]
because its a huge ******* waste of time
#59 - canadiancarl (07/29/2015) [-]
I'm not gonna lie, that was good.
#76 - buymemilk (07/29/2015) [-]
I was actually hoping this turned out to be a joke, and it was a better one than I expected
#12 - anon (07/29/2015) [-]
**** you
User avatar #1 - bobbymcbobington (07/28/2015) [-]
dammit op

first you give me feels, then you give me anger

now I have 2 feelings at the same time

oh god it hurts having 2 feelings at once

oh god

send help
User avatar #16 to #1 - TheHutchie (07/29/2015) [-]
It hurts? Maybe it's cancer. Maybe this guy's post about getting cancer gave you cancer.
#35 to #16 - bobbymcbobington (07/29/2015) [-]
**bobbymcbobington used "*roll picture*"**
**bobbymcbobington rolled image**

<- this is a healthy dose of cancer for today
#52 - yunnie (07/29/2015) [-]
****		 that was smooth
**** that was smooth
User avatar #31 - gainesy (07/29/2015) [-]
Saw it coming as soon as he said, this is how I got cancer..
You don't just get it, so it's a giveaway, good read. haha
#19 - severepwner (07/29/2015) [-]
"I want so share the story of how I got cancer"

Me: What? People don't just know how they got cancer, it's almost always been random. Something's ***** . *check end, then comment section*

Ha!
User avatar #71 to #19 - coffinsalesman (07/29/2015) [-]
Although to be fair if anon had posted an entire thread about smoking and then said he had lung cancer it would be pretty clear how he got cancer.
User avatar #121 - Izen (07/30/2015) [-]
these ***** could write books that make people cry real jesus tears
then end with it all being a joke
like with me today I had to get something checked out. Two things, a blue nevus (weird blue mole **** ) and a mole that may be cancer.
And the doctor ******* said "well hey maybe find a girl with blue eyes, so your skin matches"
and i realized i was getting treated by a serial killer
#107 - funnyhard (07/29/2015) [-]
**funnyhard used "*roll picture*"**
**funnyhard rolled image**
#79 - anon (07/29/2015) [-]
I don't get these people who get all upset over a twist ending, or the ones who read the end first to make sure they don't get smeckledorfed. It's just more fun to read and try to figure out the twist on the way. Although this one was really ******* obvious
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