Call of Duty: Norwegian Warfare. Found it on Reddit. Link here: . fim 2529 poeng Ihag Eden: ( Swarming kids are no goddamn joke, man. So - true story. And yes i norway US Marines norwegian kids Snow Bacon
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Call of Duty: Norwegian Warfare

fim 2529 poeng Ihag Eden: (
Swarming kids are no goddamn joke, man. So - true story. And yes it' s relevant.
In the LIE. Marines, doing a mock war in the Norwegian city of Trondheim with the Dutch, Germans and ether allies,
training in urban combat. My infantry unit was positioned in a large soccer field next to an elementary school. Keep
in mind there was no actual combat, even simulated; it was mostly just practicing maneuvers and tactics. But we
still looked out of place with weapons and gear, etc. It' s fucking February. In Norway. Cold as balls. Show up to our
knees. Norway obviously has no snow days, so the kids were all in school.
Anyway, so Norway has this most delicious and amazing delicacy, I have no idea what it' s called, but it' s basically a
hot dog; we just assumed it was called Candy of the Lord. As Americans we were naturally and
instantly addicted. You find them at gas stations, and there just happened to be one on the other side of the school
where we were camped. A few of my fellow Marines and I requested permission to go to the gas station and we set
out on our way’.
We made it to right about where the main entrance of the school was, and the doors opened; school was out. There
were only a few kids, probably 6 or 7 years old. Lots of talking and laughing. Gawking at us as we walked by, with
our guns and huge ridiculous snow suits. Cine precocious little bugger made shooting noises at us, We made shooting
noises back.
And then someone in my group. I don' t know who. God help me I don' t know who...
Someone threw a snowball and hit a little girl in the leg.
And those little Norwegian children unleashed hell.
There was a shrill cry in unintelligible gibberish and the doors to the school burst open. School children out
like a hoverhanding of something that never ends. screeching, smiling, sprinting - how the fuck were they
sprinting'?? - little bastards were slinging snowballs faster than the laws of physics should allow. ft was like that
movie Elf. If you can imagine riding in a fast car in a snowstorm and sticking your head out the window. Now imagine
the that are hitting your face are the size of snowballs. We couldn' t fucking see. We couldn' t run. We
could barely breathe. Holy fuck.,,,.
We tried to return fire and threw one, maybe two , shitty snowballs that fell apart in the air, arms flailing
like fairies. I am from Texas. We were a unit stationed in North Carolina. We were so outmatched and
out of our element, it only made them laugh harder. We were cutoff from our main forces. We tried to perform a
flanking maneuver but fuck me they were fast. f think some of them were throwing rocks!
My comrades. I could see them speed waddling in their huge suits back to camp like a fucked up pair of white
Teletubbies, under withering fire, Fuck tactics, fuck me, fuck the Candy of the Lord, this was survival! I was the
slow one in the group. My showboats were too big but they were the smallest size they had at Issue goddammit!!
My Marines left me behind.
I tried pulling my hood over my head and keeping my head down. No longer content to pelt my defenseless body
with ballistic snow, the enemy swarmed me and dragged me down, cackling like a pack of hyenas descending on a
wildebeest. I tried to sling them off by spinning. I came out of one of my boots and fell. f began to scream and plead
for them to stop but they neither understood nor gave a single Nordic fuck, They literally pinned me down with
about five kids on each limb. It was then that f actually thought - oh shit. I' m really in trouble. My
were ripped off and flung into trees. They started shoving snow down my suit. Have you ever had anyone drop an
ice cube down your shirt'?
Well now imagine someone shoveling handfuls of ice cubes down your shirt. It literally shocked the breath out of my
body. . jpg. gif
They left me laying like a Family Guy accident victim. Moaning and screaming in the cold. Rifle packed with snow and
dirt. Boot buried . They ran away laughing, jabbering in their crazy language. I lay there trying
to figure out just what in the great American fuck had happened.
TL; DR - Norwegians discover way to defeat American Marines during war games using bacon and small children. LPT-
don' t ever, ever get in a snowball fight with Norwegian school kids,
EDIT - wow. Thanks for the GOLD and thanks for all the kind words! You guys rock. Glad I could make you laugh
with my inadequacies. hahahaha. worst prizefighters ever.
EDIT EDIT Candy of the Lord: baconmoose, and yes - it was filled with cheese! very important detail that I left
out. Sorry. TIL there are more names for shoving snow down peoples' clothes than should be reasonably expected.
Views: 4261 Submitted: 01/25/2014
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#1 - deadlockr [OP]
Reply +4 123456789123345869
(01/25/2014) [-]
stickied by deadlockr
Obligatory bacon-wrapped hot dog picture.
#6 - hellpwnage
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(01/28/2014) [-]
well, at least he took it like a man, I know a lot of people who wouldn't think twice of gunning down the kids in retaliation... some countries man... some countries...
User avatar #5 - weirdoo
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(01/26/2014) [-]
Wasn't that bad, what he experienced was a standard snowball
#2 - anon id: 1dd348e9
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(01/26/2014) [-]
oh cool/ a Norwegian trying to make his country seem cooler. havnt seen that with any nordic country. i swear, nordics are more anal about national pride then americans.
#3 to #2 - anon id: 40848452
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(01/26/2014) [-]
Its a link.. From Reddit.. Made by an American.. Dumbass
User avatar #4 to #3 - therealtjthemedic
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(01/26/2014) [-]
What he's saying is that a norwegian pretended to be an american to embellish his country