Black Jesus

ghostblaze

ile 2 128 75393 1 niigga-( 29 I JCB, 391x400, )
E 10/ 19/ 1 Xdue) 21 143: 3 No. I 16213 18 [view]
TIT: Awesome retail experiences.
in a Circuit City warehouse on a Friday night
sodder mines in for a stack of allelic equipment
vertry it out to the garage ten be installed
screemed by a 6' 7" black man in a fiar coat, cane and massive rings an each
fanger
L“ -He is flanked by two is-' einen in matching halter taps aria heat]; sheets
Right by the Bentley, my som"
stack the speakers beside a spotless violet automobile
s" Thank you. You must be tired at such an hem. Please, let me feed you
tonight, my sen-"
peels off a , turns on a heel and gees ta inspect the tech' s work as I gain)
of his girls winks at me
Til never forget the night I met you, Black Jesus.

...

+2168

Views:	64002
Favorited:	154
Submitted:	12/09/2015

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+479

#7 - hueman (12/10/2015) [-]

>Circuit City
Ah, the ancient ruins of a once great civilization

+102

#13 to #7 - xiontheshadows (12/10/2015) [-]

Circuit City & BlockBuster were my favorite places to go. Even if they lasted up to now, Blockbuster would be out of business due to every movie and whatnot being digital these days and Circuit City would have eventually been bested by Best Buy, Walmart, and the now-desolate Radioshack. Good times...

+112

#23 to #13 - teegoogilycoffeeme (12/10/2015) [-]

>bested by Best Buy

-4

#43 to #23 - arreatface (12/10/2015) [-]

#85 to #43 - squail ONLINE (12/30/2015) [-]

What? I'm just going to leave this here.

+18

#39 to #13 - ihatecarltonbanks (12/10/2015) [-]

You.. you just described exactly why those places DID go out of business....

#40 to #13 - saxong (12/10/2015) [-]

I'll always remember how the Blockbuster in my town smelled. No other place smelled like that ******* store and I hate that I can never smell it again.

#44 to #13 - alarubra (12/10/2015) [-]

Radioshack still exists.

#45 to #44 - bertmacaroni (12/10/2015) [-]

Just barely.

#46 to #45 - alarubra (12/10/2015) [-]

There are 4 within walking distance of my apartment.

#55 to #46 - serrikari (12/10/2015) [-]

And how many Best Buy's and Walmart's are nearby?

#70 to #55 - alarubra (12/10/2015) [-]

0 and 2 within walking distance. I should point out that the nearest Best Buy is just 1 town over, and is significantly larger than the Radioshacks. The Wal-Marts are also larger, but they're more of a general store than Radioshack.

#56 to #55 - tremuzik (12/10/2015) [-]

Well, in my town there are 2 Radioshack's. 2 Wal-marts, and no Best Buy's.

#77 to #13 - anon (12/13/2015) [-]

I've worked at RADIOSHACK for a year now. It's the only one still open in an hours driving distance. It's a good life. The manager essentially runs the store. I don't do much. Get to stream twitch on the floor model TV, browse funnyjunks, and watch as the masses of rural yokels come flocking in to buy 123A batteries and fuses, or cheap RCs for the kids in their middle/lower class communities...its a good life.

+457

#2 - include (12/09/2015) [-]

GIF

+42

#8 to #2 - catkyte (12/10/2015) [-]

i tried watching this show and just found it boring. am i missing something?

+32

#9 to #8 - leifbunny (12/10/2015) [-]

Black comedy is.... really hit or miss. This was a painful miss. It's "relate-able", I guess. If you're a lazy piece of **** who doesn't understand why people hate you and refuse to accept it. But.... there really isn't much of a punchline for such a "comedic" show.

+18

#53 to #9 - catkyte (12/10/2015) [-]

key and peele is quite possibly one of the best shows i've ever come across and they're both black.

but black jesus just doesn't have the ability to keep my attention, im always forced to switch channels.

#73 to #53 - leifbunny (12/11/2015) [-]

They're black, yes, but only by definition. Not by comedic sensibility. But "black comedy", well, black-people-comedy, isn't... really funny in a traditional way. It's loud. Key and Peele were actually comedians. And good ones. With years of experience that didn't pander to "we're black, and we're only funny because white people don't get us."

-1

#63 to #53 - baditch (12/10/2015) [-]

Key and Peele is too intelligent to be considered black people comedy. It's genuine satire and black people comedy usually refers to Tyler Perry screaming like a ******* retard and black people laughing.

#66 to #63 - sagedivinity (12/10/2015) [-]

Please don't judge the whole of black entertainment/comedy by Tyler Perry's works.

#67 to #63 - ogthegreat (12/10/2015) [-]

"Too intelligent to be considered black comedy." Not really the best choice of words for getting your point across.

-3

#29 to #9 - deckbox (12/10/2015) [-]

**deckbox used "*roll picture*"**
**deckbox rolled image**it is like a Black Bojack Horseman (blackjack?)

but there are no endearing characters, its just a black jesus, no real story or build, its just street versions of psalms etc, which in probably ok for some people, but it lacks the grip of the throat approach early Boondocks had, I mean hell even the opening act of the first episode that sent the whities into hysteria

#30 to #29 - leifbunny (12/10/2015) [-]

At least Bojack has a joke thrown in now and again and has events that actually matter. Come next episode, black jesus is starting from scratch morally. Every time. His problems are pointless and could be solved by, as the very creator of the show put it in his superior work: "Avoiding a ***** moment". And even those are watered down for the sake of not hurting a white audience, like it matters.

#69 to #30 - deckbox (12/10/2015) [-]

i meant how bojack was a good show that despite the lack of humour has better structure etc

#72 to #69 - leifbunny (12/11/2015) [-]

Ah, yes.

#75 to #72 - deckbox (12/11/2015) [-]

i see bojack as more or less an Animated Californication it drums up several similarities

#82 to #9 - scaryhumor (12/23/2015) [-]

I love black jesus

#83 to #82 - leifbunny (12/23/2015) [-]

....12 days later.

#68 to #9 - ogthegreat (12/10/2015) [-]

Being black, I hate most of the ways black comedy approaches humor. Like, it seems to glorify stereotypes and what makes us look weak or incompetent as a whole. Not to mention, a lot of it relies on cliches.

#35 to #9 - advice

(12/10/2015) [-]

that's half the point. There's not supposed to really be a punchline other than ghetto people get into awkward situations and also jesus is there.

#36 to #35 - leifbunny (12/10/2015) [-]

So it's funny in the same way a sitcom is funny. It isn't, but the canned laughter makes you think it is, and trains you to laugh when it does.... except there's no canned laughter here.

#37 to #36 - advice

(12/10/2015) [-]

yeah, there's no canned laughter because half the people who watch it are high like the main characters, so literally anything will make them laugh.

#61 to #37 - trolljunkusa (12/10/2015) [-]

Kinda like wrestling

+120

#3 - purecounsell (12/09/2015) [-]

Black Jesus' right hand man... yeezus.

+54

#6 - anon (12/09/2015) [-]

>tfw anon just met a pimp

#19 - alpako ONLINE (12/10/2015) [-]

**alpako used "*roll picture*"**
**alpako rolled image** fifty dollars is like a million to me
but then again what do i know

#76 to #19 - anon (12/12/2015) [-]

**anonymous used "*roll picture*"**
**anonymous rolled image**
Noice roll
even if pony

+18

#20 to #19 - alpako ONLINE (12/10/2015) [-]

+59

#1 - listerthepessimist (12/09/2015) [-]

+28

#12 - trapjesus (12/10/2015) [-]

Love thy ***** .

#15 to #12 - wadethegreat (12/10/2015) [-]

Reminded me of this

#25 - seamusmcmaximus (12/10/2015) [-]

On the real, at work, a black guy in a good mood can
Working at the hospital, and when I worked at Sonic, when a black guy with a good sense of humor and a good mood came in, it was hard not too tell. They joke, laugh, and maybe even tip.

#62 to #25 - SuperHyperCrazy (12/10/2015) [-]

It's almost like we're normal human beings or something

#71 to #62 - seamusmcmaximus (12/10/2015) [-]

but theyre nicer than other people when theyre in a genuinly good mood = my point

#74 to #71 - SuperHyperCrazy (12/11/2015) [-]

Still, I'm sure there's a funny white guy in a good mood somewhere out there, or a Latino who is a big tipper. Point is that, as an entire race, we're not all extra nice when we're feeling good - that dude was probably just a good dude.
It's like me saying "a really angry white guy came into my store today, and started throwing everything on the floor. He really ****** up my day. Now I know that all white people everywhere really get crazy when they're angry."

#27 to #25 - Jeff C (12/10/2015) [-]

Did you proof read m8?

#28 to #27 - seamusmcmaximus (12/10/2015) [-]

i guess not... A black guy in a good mood can make your day among the other ****** humans that all just decide to come to where i work.

#42 - BraindeadBuddha (12/10/2015) [-]

hfw

#26 - bubblylover (12/10/2015) [-]

I remember my mom stopped a pimp (who was smoking and had a pimp hat so I just assumed he was a pimp) to ask to borrow his lighter. I remember him being very polite and laidback.

#41 to #26 - theugandanhero (12/10/2015) [-]

That's cause them other ****** be stressin too much dawg

#47 to #26 - itskennyandjosh (12/10/2015) [-]

**itskennyandjosh used "*roll picture*"**
**itskennyandjosh rolled image** That's cause he knew your mom isn't one of his hoes

#48 to #47 - funnyhat (12/10/2015) [-]

damn can you remind me which kickass movie this pic was from?

#51 to #48 - PFCMadness (12/10/2015) [-]

It's from Labyrinth, friend! Starring David Bowies' package

#52 to #51 - funnyhat (12/10/2015) [-]

thanks, have a thumb for that

#49 to #48 - itskennyandjosh (12/10/2015) [-]

**itskennyandjosh used "*roll picture*"**
**itskennyandjosh rolled image**After a few google searches, it seems to be from "Labyrinth"

#50 to #49 - funnyhat (12/10/2015) [-]

oh, **** , yeah, thanks, fam!

#10 - simonhatesfj (12/10/2015) [-]

**simonhatesfj used "*roll picture*"**
**simonhatesfj rolled image**
Circuit City?

#78 to #10 - anon (12/17/2015) [-]

This works. Is no one gonna admit this works?

#80 to #78 - simonhatesfj (12/17/2015) [-]

It does?

+12

#32 - neoexdeath ONLINE (12/10/2015) [-]

GIF

#33 to #32 - neoexdeath ONLINE (12/10/2015) [-]

#34 to #33 - neoexdeath ONLINE (12/10/2015) [-]

GIF

#4 - vincentvalkerii (12/09/2015) [-]

This looks...
Familiar.

#21 to #4 - jamesalmighty (12/10/2015) [-]

you get a thumb for hat

#5 to #4 - jonnyfrosty ONLINE (12/09/2015) [-]

Are you implying something, or?

#16 to #5 - vincentvalkerii (12/10/2015) [-]

Naaah.
Why would I ever do that?

#38 - whatwhen (12/10/2015) [-]

**whatwhen used "*roll picture*"**
**whatwhen rolled image** im almost 100% sure it wasnt actually a black jesus it was just a pimp

#54 - skatedawg (12/10/2015) [-]

Oh **** ! It's Pimp C. RIP

#18 - ldnelson (12/10/2015) [-]

Thou shalt have no other homies before me

#11 - scruffyguy (12/10/2015) [-]

Something roughly similar happened hundreds of years ago.

#14 to #11 - mindyourownbusines (12/10/2015) [-]

Arab Jesus? From Nazareth?

-1

#31 to #14 - noxiouspumpkin (12/10/2015) [-]

Nah, Mansa Musa. So a Jesus from Mali.

#79 to #11 - anon (12/17/2015) [-]

kublai khan??

-3

#57 - oldfunnymemories (12/10/2015) [-]

Haven't been around for 3 years. Site has fallen off the deep end. Admin still pulling the same bs?

#60 to #57 - anon (12/10/2015) [-]

Negative thumbs no longer ban so its full of retarded *********** . Thanks admin you cockgoblin .

Site still a circlejerk full of idiots that think getting green pixels of approval on a ****** website is important and yet they laugh and cringe when they hear of things such as facebook likes.