Bill Burr on Marriage. . skydiving and they told -‘I you three out of tour parachute: wont open. would you still jump'? Three out of four it marriages end in fa
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[ 94 comments ]
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User avatar #52 - crazyhindu (12/02/2013) [-]
take four parachutes
#75 to #52 - dickticklerluv ONLINE (12/03/2013) [-]
You sir are a scientist
You sir are a scientist
User avatar #56 to #52 - calawesome (12/02/2013) [-]
does that mean the mormons got it right?
User avatar #96 to #56 - crazyhindu (12/03/2013) [-]
Yep.
#53 to #52 - agentpurplek (12/02/2013) [-]
You my sir, are a 			*******		 genius.   
   
>Pic related   
>crazyhindu is Arthur.
You my sir, are a ******* genius.

>Pic related
>crazyhindu is Arthur.
#10 - jaguarjam (12/02/2013) [-]
Yeah I'd jump, bitch, I'd jump hard and feet first. And I'd ******* hit the ground after my 'chute wouldn't open. Then, after I smashed my body on the ******* ground to **** , I would get up, back on the plane and jump again. And I would keep jumping like a crazy cunt, until one ******************** my parachute opened and I could fully enjoy the best goddamn view in the whole world.

Getting close to someone is always dangerous and can get you hella hurt. But if you just forever shut off the possibility of it ever getting better because you're too affraid of the pain, you can end up living a miserable life to the end of your days, and what's worse, by choice.
User avatar #11 to #10 - teranin ONLINE (12/02/2013) [-]
Fear of pain and fear of financial destruction are two very different things. No gambler who actually wins ever would make an assertion like your own.
#12 to #11 - jaguarjam (12/02/2013) [-]
First off, I kindo hate (it's nothing personal against you dude, it's just the nature of the opinion) how you compare marriage to a gamble. I'm not married (though I hope to be one day), but those times I had a serious relationship, I never stopped to think whether what I'm doing in the relationship is "worth it". When I spend time or bought the other person something, I did it because wanted to be with her (okay, I'm gonna admit without torture that I'm a guy) or I wanted to show appreciation - I didn't do it because I felt like I was obliged to or that it was gonna get me something from her.

A lot of times, it got me burned. I learned that some of that ******** about how you're sometimes supposed to act like a dick to a girl to get her to like you might be true. I spend a lot of money, time and effort, and you could say that it was all for nothing.

But it wasn't. I learned a lot, and I in time also figured out that being a dick to someone wouldn't make me happy no matter what (not just in romantic relationships). Also, I learned that it's not all girls ou there who are like that. I changed a lot as a person through going through all that. When I look back at the spent money and effort, I don't see which other way it could be spent better.

As for (finally) marriage, I don't see it as a ordeal or obligation, I see it as a possibility, no better, a privilige to show how much you care for someone. Of course, you should get to know the person very well before getting married to them, and if you're not sure, you shouldn't marry at all. But I think it is great that you CAN (other thing is society pressuring you into doing it, that's bad). But if it all goes somehow to **** even after you have been sure, you might lose a lot, all the experience you get should still amount for something. You could also get something really great.

TL;DR: Maybe not the gamblers who actually win are as not as bold as I might sound, but the important thing is that they still play
#13 to #12 - teranin ONLINE (12/02/2013) [-]
Negative, the game is unplayable at this juncture. The family court and marriage laws have been altered to color the game against men far too much. If you make the bet, if you bet everything you own that you will love another person forever, that's your call. But it's far from being the smart play. It's like going all in with pocket 2s, sure, no one else might hit anything, but it is more likely that someone will pair up a card better than 2s, and you'll be leaving the casino with no money.

I've witnessed firsthand the dangers of marriage, and while it is of course your choice whether or not you take that plunge it would be absolutely idiotic to do so with out at least understanding the way the house has changed the rules to **** you should you fail.

Sometimes the smartest choice is to simply not play. You can still have a relationship, love, children, all of it, without signing a contract that can be used to destroy your life.
#29 to #13 - jaguarjam (12/02/2013) [-]
Ehhh, I don't think that female emancipation has that much to do with higher divorce rate. Or let me rephrase that, of course it in a way does, but to say that if women were less favored in question of divorce, that there would be a lot more happy marriages, is in my opinion close minded.

The way I see it, the factor that high divorce rate is being caused by the most is the microsocial enviroment. Statistically, most divorces happen in two instances - either 2-3 years after marriage or 20 years. In the first instance, the divorce happens (according to generaly accredited sociological research) due to the partners losing love interest and finding out they don't feel close with each other anymore. In the second, it is after the kids of the couple leave home.

I believe this tells us A) oftimes, people get married for no other reason then being in love (which may sound like a counter argument against everything I wrote so far, but I'll write about it some more) and B) people often force each other to continue disfunctional marriages in sake of kids.

So maybe, instead of either signing it off as a useless tradition or making it more binding for any of the parties, maybe we should look at why marriages fail. I think (and here I'm basically ranting on my own, except maybe some stuff I got from E. Fromm) that main problem of failing relationships in general is the lack of closeness between people in modern society. People get married because they're pressured by society and their sex drive is acting up, but they don't get to know the person they commit to. They believe that magically, something will get better when they have had ring on their finger for a while, but it doesn't. They "fall out of love" and realize they have been living with complete stranger. And that stranger realizes that too.

Sorry for not having a clear line of thinking here, there's not much space and I could go on and on about this topic.
#30 to #29 - teranin ONLINE (12/02/2013) [-]
Whoa, that first sentence. That first sentence man... wow. Feminism is not female emancipation. Not anymore, not for a long time. I'm talking about the recent effects of feminism, within the past 20 years, when it has been a movement for superior treatment, not equality. It has succeeded tremendously achieving superior treatment for women in a number of areas, as well, including divorce and family law. It also skyrocketed DRAMATICALLY when gender-based alimony laws were implemented, affecting only males.

Someone bluepilled you very, VERY hard jaguar. You might want to do some research into this topic, and into the truth about modern feminism. You may find the experience enlightening.
#31 to #30 - jaguarjam (12/02/2013) [-]
Dude, I don't live in America (Eurofag here) so this might be a totaly different stuff for me, but personaly, I've never had any negative experience regarding feminism. Sure, there is a site me and my friends used to make fun of with some feminazi wackos from my country, but **** , if I was to be concerned about that, I would have to put a bullet through my head every time I hear on the news about some neonazi rally somewhere.
#78 to #31 - aviators (12/03/2013) [-]
I Like You, you make a lot of sense.
I Like You, you make a lot of sense.
#80 to #78 - jaguarjam (12/03/2013) [-]
Heh, thanks man, I feel all warm and fuzzy inside
User avatar #32 to #31 - teranin ONLINE (12/02/2013) [-]
You haven't had the negative experiences but give it time, you will. Depending on where in europe you live, the situation is actually worse than it is in the states. God help you if you live in Sweden, and I don't even believe in God.
#67 to #10 - reefer (12/02/2013) [-]
go cut your wrists.
#81 to #67 - jaguarjam (12/03/2013) [-]
Nah, jumping out of an airplane is way cooler
#70 to #10 - mainerva (12/03/2013) [-]
You're a wise ************ .
User avatar #86 to #10 - letting (12/03/2013) [-]
I'd rather live having never seen that view, but don't worry, I'll be sure to visit your grave.


/prepared for *********

But seriously, sometimes it is better to take the safe route than jumping feet-first into something when you don't know what the hell is at the bottom. Sure, the other guy's chute might open, and he might get the view of a lifetime, but he could also be dead, in fact he'll PROBABLY be dead.

That's more than enough reason for me to stay safe on the ground, I am not a gambling man.
User avatar #91 to #10 - iliekcereal (12/03/2013) [-]
you beautiful ****** . i'm almost crying and you wrote probably less than 100 words.
#95 to #10 - lionti ONLINE (12/03/2013) [-]
That's a good view on life you have there, don't lose it
That's a good view on life you have there, don't lose it
#62 to #10 - bdho (12/02/2013) [-]
Burr is talking about marriage, which doesn't always equal "getting close to someone". You could always do that without get married; they're not mutually inclusive.
User avatar #64 to #62 - popkornking (12/02/2013) [-]
If you marry someone you aren't close to you've got some life revisions to make
User avatar #26 to #10 - Ekans (12/02/2013) [-]
That.... was beautiful
#57 - helenwheels (12/02/2013) [-]
Yet the forget to mention the part where the one out of four parachutes that do open are the ones that where checked for quality first and the three out of four other parachutes where the ones they scraped off the bathroom floor in a drunken haze.
#87 to #57 - hirollin (12/03/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#60 to #57 - DontDeleteMeAgain (12/02/2013) [-]
hold on now, that....huh. that actually makes a lot of sense....
#48 - caplocker (12/02/2013) [-]
91.5% of all statistics are made up on FJ. true story.


75% of marriage end in failure? Define failure. It's obviously not divorce because that's a ******** statistic. It's actually around 34%.

What isn't accounted for is first time marriages vs multiple marriages. You know the type. Married 5 times because they can't find "the one" when really, they're never who they're pretending to be, so they can't find the one. SO these perpetual children who get married 5-10 times are also part of the divorce rate.


Marriage is great. I'm older than most of you, I'm telling you from almost 20 years of experience. It's good. Some times it's ******** , some times you've got to work much harder than you should have to. But 99% of the time marriage is wonderful.
#73 to #48 - John Cena (12/03/2013) [-]
hint: the same person that posted this pic also spams content titled "effects of feminism" and pictures of anime girls
User avatar #50 to #48 - theseqceeman ONLINE (12/02/2013) [-]
>married
>20 years exp.
>implying your older than 40
>older than 40
>fj
>pick one
#93 to #50 - caplocker (12/03/2013) [-]
40?
#18 - adu (12/02/2013) [-]
Here's a counter-argument. It's worth the read, trust me.
User avatar #19 to #18 - teranin ONLINE (12/02/2013) [-]
That's not a counter argument. What is being discussed is the financial contract of marriage, not love, or relationships.

Of course no one is saying not to love, or that relationships are a problem. Marriage is a problem.
User avatar #20 to #19 - adu (12/02/2013) [-]
Nothing in the content itself mentions finances, it only mentions the blanket-term "marriage". When a marriage ends, assuming if the marriage was one of actual love, then the real crash and burn is on an emotional level, not a financial one.
#21 to #20 - teranin ONLINE (12/02/2013) [-]
I respectfully disagree.  When a marriage folds, love has failed.  However, unlike a relationship which can have love, and a marriage, there is a financial contract with a marriage.  This is a comment on marriage, the contract and it's record for remaining unbroken.  I could maybe see the confusion if you've never seen Bill Burr before, but it's not about relationships, or love, but only the idea of betting half your stuff that you want to spend the rest of your life with someone and that they want to spend the rest of their life with you.  With the alterations to family and marital law, this is no longer a contract worth taking, as most divorces are initiated by women, and almost all involve the financial destruction of the husband.
I respectfully disagree. When a marriage folds, love has failed. However, unlike a relationship which can have love, and a marriage, there is a financial contract with a marriage. This is a comment on marriage, the contract and it's record for remaining unbroken. I could maybe see the confusion if you've never seen Bill Burr before, but it's not about relationships, or love, but only the idea of betting half your stuff that you want to spend the rest of your life with someone and that they want to spend the rest of their life with you. With the alterations to family and marital law, this is no longer a contract worth taking, as most divorces are initiated by women, and almost all involve the financial destruction of the husband.
User avatar #22 to #21 - adu (12/02/2013) [-]
This is true in some cases, but not all. And in the event of a divorce, it's not really betting half your stuff, it's betting the average between your stuff and her stuff. Hopefully the financial relationship was evenly-balanced, otherwise yeah, you'll lose a lot of the **** you paid for personally.
User avatar #24 to #22 - teranin ONLINE (12/02/2013) [-]
You're taking the ideal, what you would want to be true, and not seeing the truth. Most of the language in marriage law is gender-specific, not money-specific. Florida is an exception, and now feminists are fighting against the fact that some women are having to deal with lifetime alimony now (a formerly exclusively male problem... funny how it's only an issue for the equality people once it starts affecting people equally). The reality is that in most states, men are the ones making the gamble as far as finances are concerned. Now, OF COURSE it's not a 100% sure thing of being ****** over. OF COURSE people can be and are happily married. But most pre-nups get thrown out in courts, and most divorces, the VAST majority, end very badly for the husband.

I don't know who bluepilled you this hard on marriage, then again maybe you're not from the states, but it is not even close to what you suggest.
User avatar #25 to #24 - adu (12/02/2013) [-]
How are pre-nups thrown out in court? I'm not a lawyer, but I thought those were as good as a legally binding contract. You're right though, I don't have much experience with divorce. I do live in the states, but my parents and the parents of almost everyone I know have been married for 20+ years. Recently though my brother has been going through a divorce, but he hasn't dealt with the paperwork yet... He's still in tatters emotionally. I never said the financial aspect of divorce wasn't bad, but saying that's the worst part of a divorce is very... materialistic. For him, he's already lost over $4,000 because of this, before any paperwork was signed, but he doesn't give a **** about the money, he just wants his wife back. That's the kind of attachment I would expect from a marriage...
#27 to #25 - teranin ONLINE (12/02/2013) [-]
Marriage is not required for attachment, nor is attachment required for marriage. As for the prenup dissolving, a precedent was set a few years back, and now they can all be challenged under those grounds.
#72 to #19 - John Cena (12/03/2013) [-]
Do you actually think you're going to influence anyone's opinion on anything in a serious way?

Comedy stops being comedy when you propagandize
User avatar #74 to #72 - teranin ONLINE (12/03/2013) [-]
I already have, on a great many subjects, a great many times. I would have been fine leaving this as a joke, but adu worded his comment as a counter-argument to the assertion made in the content. I am not the one who diverted from the humor here.
#83 to #74 - John Cena (12/03/2013) [-]
"I already have, on a great many subjects, a great many times."

No, you haven't. You've told other ******** what they want to hear.
#84 to #83 - teranin ONLINE (12/03/2013) [-]
gr8 b8 m8, but I could care less about being judged by some random anon.  You got a counterpoint, some ideas to discuss, bring them on.  I'm not here to discuss the faults of individual people.
gr8 b8 m8, but I could care less about being judged by some random anon. You got a counterpoint, some ideas to discuss, bring them on. I'm not here to discuss the faults of individual people.
User avatar #65 to #19 - popkornking (12/02/2013) [-]
That's why you don't ******* marry someone if you don't know you want to spend the rest of your life with them, honestly if you marry someone on financial or support terms you deserve for your parachute to break.
User avatar #66 to #65 - teranin ONLINE (12/02/2013) [-]
Yes, you marry out of love. But love fades, love dies, love is subject to change. Can such an unreliable variable really be a rational method of determining whom is fit to sign a contract authorizing their ownership of half your **** should you not stay with them the rest of your life?
User avatar #68 to #66 - popkornking (12/02/2013) [-]
That's why you need to give it time, my parents dated for five years before marriage and I know some couples who dated for ten, and after that if one believes their well being is threatened by contract to the other, then by all means cry alimony before things "inevitably" turn sour.
#33 to #18 - shadesofbacon (12/02/2013) [-]
That is literally the cutest thing I've read in ages
#34 - silvertongueddevil (12/02/2013) [-]
I love Bill Burr. One of my favorite stand up comedians.
I love Bill Burr. One of my favorite stand up comedians.
User avatar #36 to #34 - pepemex (12/02/2013) [-]
Which one is he?
User avatar #47 to #36 - brewswillis (12/02/2013) [-]
im pretty sure the guy on the right doesnt stand up very often
User avatar #54 to #47 - PedoHansen (12/02/2013) [-]
But he's still a stand-up comedian - Lavelle Crawford is his name.
User avatar #51 - misswunderlich (12/02/2013) [-]
There is this small difference between death and getting divorced
User avatar #35 - buttholee (12/02/2013) [-]
Isn't it more like 1/5 or 1/4?
User avatar #38 to #35 - teranin ONLINE (12/02/2013) [-]
-.-
User avatar #69 - wersand (12/02/2013) [-]
I don't think this is a very good analogy. Nor do I find it funny.
#82 - John Cena (12/03/2013) [-]
Three out of four parachutes wont open, but they all have vaginas.
User avatar #14 - barenoizedub (12/02/2013) [-]
I'm someone that has no trouble with commitment and Id love to get married one day, even if it might end in tears, better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.


Plus it's around 40% not 75% and some of those figures are coming from people that have married and divorced numerous times, all im saying is that statistically speaking if you're going to get married, more often than not you wont get a divorce.
User avatar #2 - mechanichore (12/02/2013) [-]
there's a difference between 3/4 marriages end in divorce and 3/4 people get a divorce though.
User avatar #23 - hellspawner (12/02/2013) [-]
What if you like surprises?
User avatar #77 to #23 - ChristopherLloyd (12/03/2013) [-]
shut up you newfag
User avatar #28 to #23 - vandettamask (12/02/2013) [-]
With that font color you remind me of a certain dickhead.
#85 to #28 - newtamalego (12/03/2013) [-]
Oh my god, If you hadn't said this I would still be thinking it is admin.
Oh my god, If you hadn't said this I would still be thinking it is admin.
User avatar #39 to #28 - revengeforfreeze (12/02/2013) [-]
Lol, let me gues
Hawk?
User avatar #42 to #39 - dreaddune (12/02/2013) [-]
nah, im guessing phanoct
User avatar #43 to #42 - revengeforfreeze (12/02/2013) [-]
but phan has orange text and has had for guitw a while
User avatar #45 to #43 - dreaddune (12/02/2013) [-]
Dude, i was joking. Obviously it's revengeforfreeze, that douchebag
User avatar #79 - nthmetal (12/03/2013) [-]
Take 3 more parachutes before you jump?
#76 - triggathepirate (12/03/2013) [-]
Did anyone else read bill murray on burials?
User avatar #71 - steelwoolsheep (12/03/2013) [-]
three out of four marriages end in failure? I doubt that
User avatar #55 - kanpai (12/02/2013) [-]
where do people get these statistics?

i mean everyone says it but they al say differnt things , like 2/5 or half of all mariges, who reasearches this stuff?
User avatar #44 - richardastley ONLINE (12/02/2013) [-]
I'm pretty sure that's not the statistic. I've 50% of marriages end in divorce, but I know even that's too high for most countries.
User avatar #41 - douevensax (12/02/2013) [-]
It's not that high. It's like 30%. And I think many divorces not all, calm down. Some FJers just way overreact to everything are caused by marriages due to pregnacies or force. If everyone took their time, the rate would be much lower.
#15 - Flong (12/02/2013) [-]
Skydiving is pretty dangerous, I heard one in five people don't even make it to the ground
User avatar #16 to #15 - adu (12/02/2013) [-]
That better be a joke, because if it is, that's clever.
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