Anon`s time in th army

crixuz

comes in
To NEW REGULATIONS, THE
PROVIDE
MATERIAL ACCORDING " SOLDIERS TASTES!"
smiles are had.
s" AND PROVIDE A SAFE' ENVIRONMENT TO
DEPLOY THIS Pt)
rejigger grins, farming in the pecha-
******** !
NOW, THEN! STEP UP AS I CALL YOUR
sthe other shes drops..
PRO' v' ATE JENKINS! BIG BLACK COCK
DUCKS PCI. RN!"
PRIVATE MURPHY! TENTACLE AND ALIEN
CHICK PORN!"
PRIVATE LIEB! FURRY FAGGEST ***** PORN
WITH DIAPER PLAY AND
GAY RAPE AND TRANSFORMATION!"
********* furries.
PRIATE HETZER! Uh,."
grizzled Sarge pauses, he' s net sure what
tn make sf this,.
aircraft Ott., tank.
porn? WHAT THE HELL IS THIS, PRIVATE?!"
s" Prostate Harmer sexually identifies as an Attack
Helicopter, Sergeant!''

...

+1774

Views:	38271
Favorited:	182
Submitted:	12/23/2015

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Comments(99):

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[ 99 comments ]

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77 comments displayed.

+136

#10 - Minnesota (12/24/2015) [-]

>attack helicopter
>not artillery
I bet he's the type of ~~fag~~ loser that kisses girls, too.

#23 to #10 - fatkidatrecess (12/24/2015) [-]

are youfagtoo fellow minnesotanite

#28 to #10 - Noobanon (12/24/2015) [-]

There's a saying in the Finnish military.

It's okay to be stupid,

but it's not okay to serve in the artillery.

+19

#27 to #10 - electronicbacon ONLINE (12/24/2015) [-]

His name's Private Howzer, not Private Howitzer.

+536

#9 - nickelakon (12/24/2015) [-]

Sergeant: WHY THAT IS THE MOST AMERICAN THING I COULD EVER DREAM OF! PROMOTE THIS AIRCRAFT!

#84 to #9 - anon (12/24/2015) [-]

God Bless America and our Attack Helicopter Population in particular!

+541

#2 - ciacheczko (12/24/2015) [-]

This sounds like an intro to a porn movie. A one that can only be either horrible, or the most hilarious thing known to man kind.

+19

#3 to #2 - tenaciouslee ONLINE (12/24/2015) [-]

Or both!

+25

#39 to #2 - ompalomper (12/24/2015) [-]

But then it wouldn't be a porno right? I mean, who jerks off while laughing?

Well... I haven't ever tried... Might be something I guess. Seems difficult is all.

+106

#45 to #39 - bjornkrage (12/24/2015) [-]

It's not easy, i'll tell you that

#77 to #45 - guanyu (12/24/2015) [-]

I can't believe this exists. I can't believe I actually watched that. I can't believe it was kinda hot for a bit.
for you lazy people You need to login to view this link

#85 to #77 - anon (12/24/2015) [-]

You gotta give the actor for Spongebob credit, he does manage to stay in character the entire time.

#92 to #45 - yourpervuncle (12/24/2015) [-]

GIF

The **** I just watched

+51

#44 to #39 - Maroon (12/24/2015) [-]

well you jerk off while crying, I suppose it wouldn't be that much of a stretch in the opposite direction

+10

#48 to #39 - craftyatom (12/24/2015) [-]

Laughter always seems to make the experience better for me.

Personal preference, though.

#66 to #48 - mindor (12/24/2015) [-]

idk guys, this foo lost me at "furry faggot shotta porn"

-1

#67 to #66 - mindor has deleted their comment [-]

#95 to #48 - avatice (12/25/2015) [-]

Space nerd is a mod now? Huh.

#96 to #95 - craftyatom (12/25/2015) [-]

I've been a mod for a fair while, but I usually keep it hidden - couldn't keep it in for the special hats, though.

#97 to #96 - avatice (12/25/2015) [-]

You're not wearing a hat.

#98 to #97 - craftyatom (12/25/2015) [-]

It only happens when you create a brand new comment without a picture, not when you reply to one.

Here: /user/craftyatom/506#506

#99 to #98 - avatice (12/25/2015) [-]

Pretty ****** festive.

#56 to #39 - elcreepo (12/24/2015) [-]

I laugh my ass off maniacally while masturbating in public

#68 to #39 - funkymelon (12/24/2015) [-]

You laugh yourself into a coma while cumming, you get a cum coma

+79

#7 to #2 - vorarephilia

(12/24/2015) [-]

Call of Booty 8 : Attack of the Lemon Stealing Whores

+74

#14 - tittylovin (12/24/2015) [-]

+46

#15 - dehnoobshow ONLINE (12/24/2015) [-]

Request porn of the Drill Sergeant.
DS: P-Private, do you truly love me that way?
The Private slowly steps forward and caresses the Drill Sergeant's manly chin
P: Sir, that is correct.
The two lean in for a slow, passionate kiss.
The drill sergeant breaks away and whispers softly in the ear of the private
WHY THE FUUUUUUUUUUuuuuuuuuuuuUUUUUUUUUCK WOULD YOU EVEN DO THAT, PRIVATE? YOU ARE A WORTHLESS PIECE OF **** . LEAVE MY PRESENCE

+15

#17 to #15 - frenzyhero (12/24/2015) [-]

tsundere

+15

#57 to #17 - siemenz (12/24/2015) [-]

Tsundere drill sargeant.
It's not like I want you to be a soldier f-faggot. I just have to train you because it's my job not because I like you or anything. Jesus ******* christ......

+104

#1 - urumasi (12/23/2015) [-]

Meanwhile in admin's 'safe' enviroment

+114

#16 - cattestacles (12/24/2015) [-]

Finally. This is the day I've been waiting for.

#87 to #16 - strangesir (12/24/2015) [-]

Some of these, like your ****** thumbnail of a pic are kinda nice and it makes me wonder how I stand on a kink like this, but then others I'm not into.

I just can't quite make my mind up about something in it. Maybe it's the aircraft part, the wings 'n' **** confusing me? I dunno. Bottom line, kinda sexy, but unlikely to rub one out to it.

+43

#19 to #16 - redbannerman (12/24/2015) [-]

Ayyyy lmao

+17

#29 to #19 - goobyman (12/24/2015) [-]

does this count as gape porn?

#50 to #29 - zetsuboukamina (12/24/2015) [-]

Yee

+29

#24 to #19 - drongus (12/24/2015) [-]

MY ******

#83 to #24 - aerosol ONLINE (12/24/2015) [-]

Don't forget he mentioned tanks as well

#86 to #83 - strangesir (12/24/2015) [-]

L-literally the best

+21

#25 to #16 - anon (12/24/2015) [-]

Grab somma these. You'll need 'em later.

#88 to #25 - strangesir (12/24/2015) [-]

+26

#26 to #16 - avatice (12/24/2015) [-]

How is it that no matter what fetish, no matter how ridiculous or disgusting, there's people in the comments ready to show us the fetishes we didn't need to see.

+16

#41 to #26 - shadowkingdr (12/24/2015) [-]

but do you regret it?

+22

#18 - iwillrulenorway (12/24/2015) [-]

I hate only liking vanilla porn.

every time it comes up in conversations one way or another people just look at me weird because they think that because I say I like vanilla my real fetish must be incredibly ****** up.

I just really like the missionary position man.

#49 to #18 - bodox (12/24/2015) [-]

I enjoy liking vanilla, easy to find and more verity
And to fulfill my fantsies all i gotta do is **** , boom happy man no crazy **** , props or blood scarofices required

#32 to #18 - seamanlover (12/24/2015) [-]

Look at the bright side. You will never be sad because your beloved one doesn't like your fetish.
Better be classy than strange.

+36

#20 - sonicsyndicate (12/24/2015) [-]

I was born for this moment.

-2

#30 to #20 - goobyman (12/24/2015) [-]

nice watermark you have there

#31 to #30 - sonicsyndicate (12/24/2015) [-]

why may i ask was your reason for pointing that out?

-2

#33 to #31 - goobyman (12/24/2015) [-]

because watermarks are ugly as ****

#34 to #33 - sonicsyndicate (12/24/2015) [-]

and you expect me to do what now exactly?

-3

#35 to #34 - goobyman (12/24/2015) [-]

i don't know why you're trying to argue with me here. i'm just saying that watermarks are ******* cancer because i'm 100% sure " You need to login to view this link " did not originally post this, thus it is stolen content

#36 to #35 - sonicsyndicate (12/24/2015) [-]

Yes, and?
I dont know why youre still on about this so im just letting you vent your anger towards all the family and friends who arent visiting you this christmas

#38 to #36 - sonicsyndicate (12/24/2015) [-]

goobyman
did i strike a chord?
seems youve gotten salty on me all of a sudden

-5

#37 to #36 - goobyman (12/24/2015) [-]

ah yes, the good 'ol ad hominem.
Have fun not being listened to by anybody.

#91 to #37 - VLG (12/24/2015) [-]

That wasn't an ad hominem because there was no argument. You were ranting about muh watermarks and he asked you why. Is there any reason why you are trying your hardest to begin one? It's pathetic, man.

+20

#4 - psychfreak (12/24/2015) [-]

Heh

+17

#21 - ottoboys (12/24/2015) [-]

Read it in sarges voice from Red vs Blue and it was amazing

#47 to #21 - bodox (12/24/2015) [-]

Lol i did aswell

#40 to #21 - thechosentroll (12/24/2015) [-]

R. Lee Ermey works well, too.

#12 - rozgul (12/24/2015) [-]

I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I’m ******* retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me “Apache” and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can’t accept me you’re a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.

#42 to #12 - xgrandmoffx (12/24/2015) [-]

>Be
>Identify as anti aircraft gun
>See you and the curvy motions of your propellers
>The long, hard shafts of your guns
I wanna unleash my load all over you, Apachechan!