An Hero

infinitereaper

Tags: an | hero

F it EWITIP
vi noun can
if i
if i
srvr"
MUM’
idtior'
KKK?
iii
So there I was lying on my bed slitting
my wrist, committing suicide.
an poison and should
really guarantee death.
I waited and waited.
Just lying there and not dying.
so I knotted some towels together
pin it on a tree to hang myself.
It broke the moment I tried to hang.
So I used my belt instead.
The belt broke as well.
So then I took off my clothes.
Knotted it and put it on the tree.
Broke again.
Narrator)
After so many failed suicide attempts,
MON Giude felt like that
even heaven itself was teasing him.
Read: Even God was ******* with Mir,
so there was this water heater at my
home that heats water.
I grabbed it
thinking electricity must be able to
kill me
turns out electricity could not kill
The breaker tripped.
So I went out on the street
And hailed a pedicab
I gave the driver ' RMB
And asked him to buy me a bottle of
so he (Mou) went into the mountains
He drank the whole bottle of pesticide
And had a bellyache
It was so agonizing
He just tumbled dawn the hills
Rolling all the way to the roadside
And was rushed to hospital.

...

+1103

Views:	35095
Favorited:	68
Submitted:	12/19/2015

Share On Facebook

+Favorite Subscribe to infinitereaper

Comments(88):

Leave a comment Refresh Comments Show GIFs

1 2 >

[ 88 comments ]

Anonymous comments allowed.

80 comments displayed.

+184

#6 - denniswilles (12/19/2015) [-]

#63 to #6 - assassindash (12/20/2015) [-]

Too bad you can't really do either of these things if your dirt poor living on the streets....

#70 to #6 - itskennyandjosh (12/20/2015) [-]

>Go into afterlife
>Become powerful spirit
>Possess someone who plays videogames all day
>Do just that till you die
>Possess another body who only browses FJ and videogames
>Win at life and death

#75 to #6 - masterPlol (12/20/2015) [-]

Thats actually a good answer to the question: Why shouldn't I kill myself, since life has no meaning?

+200

#1 - coloredundies (12/19/2015) [-]

trying to kill yourself and finding out youre immortal. what a time to be alive.

#44 to #1 - daix (12/20/2015) [-]

There's a movie about that. It's called The Suicide Theory and it's on Netflix.

+33

#5 to #1 - beastkenten

ONLINE (12/19/2015) [-]

apparently he didn't feel that way

+195

#2 - elvoz ONLINE (12/19/2015) [-]

This is why you should own a gun.

So you can kill yourself without all the hassle of failed attempts.

#83 to #2 - platinumaltaria ONLINE (12/20/2015) [-]

Some people can't get guns...

+17

#32 to #2 - bunner (12/20/2015) [-]

+20

#40 to #2 - brisineo (12/20/2015) [-]

You could add ballistic explosive to guarantee success...

Buy enough aluminum powder and ammonium nitrate to fill a neck pillow case (you can buy them in bulk for cheap online) Don't mix them yet
Go out someplace far, far away from people
Fill neck pillow with a half and half mixture of nitrate and aluminum, mix well, but carefully.
Put pillow around neck and either shoot with light pistol or blasting cap (you can make chap ones at home)

All they'll find left of you is a pair of legs in a smoking crater.

+25

#51 to #40 - walkeraw ONLINE (12/20/2015) [-]

You seem to have thought about this a lot...

#71 to #40 - strelokkk (12/20/2015) [-]

hey Littlepip thanks for the advice

#85 to #71 - anon (12/20/2015) [-]

God i ******* hate fallout equestria.

#68 to #40 - raverr (12/20/2015) [-]

Or just go to sleep with a helium mask dude. That's pretty cool tho.

#74 to #68 - theblackhorntail (12/20/2015) [-]

Then this happens

+26

#24 to #2 - Shiny ONLINE (12/20/2015) [-]

You can fail with a gun, and those failures are the worst.

+20

#22 to #2 - anon (12/20/2015) [-]

Actually people fail even with a gun all the time. Shotgun face lift is a good one People reach for the trigger and blow their face off

#61 to #22 - anon (12/20/2015) [-]

My dad knew a guy who tried to off himself with a shotty to the face. Survived, no major brain damage, just a real ugly sonovabitch now. Or was, not sure if he's still alive.

+19

#59 to #2 - advice

(12/20/2015) [-]

some people have survived gunshots to the head.

+37

#66 to #59 - echsa (12/20/2015) [-]

confirmed

#72 to #59 - brutalviking (12/20/2015) [-]

This is why we should own explosives. So we can blow up our heads.

#84 to #72 - platinumaltaria ONLINE (12/20/2015) [-]

This is why- what do you mean I can't have nukes?

#79 to #59 - digitalpariah (12/20/2015) [-]

but no one can survive a gunshot through the heart

#86 to #79 - Dincorta (12/20/2015) [-]

But that **** must be painful as **** .

#78 to #59 - teseus (12/20/2015) [-]

Yeah, but a lot of people think that shooting yourself in the head is going to kill you when in fact you need to target specific areas. There are a lot of cases where people are shooting too close to their forehead and they just end up lobotomizing themselves. The trick is to shoot in your temporal lobe, just above the ear. That always does it.

#76 to #59 - bigmanfifty (12/20/2015) [-]

It's very possible to just blow your face off and survive. That would suck.

#77 to #76 - yujisakaii (12/20/2015) [-]

there was a woman who tried to shoot herself
she shot her eyes out of her head and survived it

#87 to #77 - pistachioofdoom ONLINE (12/20/2015) [-]

My mom is a nurse and saw both people blowing off their eyes or they jaws and surviving.
So don't use a gun. Usa a tank.

+22

#23 to #2 - buddywuggle (12/20/2015) [-]

He would miss.

+52

#13 to #2 - ciacheczko (12/20/2015) [-]

I get the feeling that the shot would be a miss. Or the gun just wouldn't fire.

#37 to #13 - dreygur (12/20/2015) [-]

The trigger would just say click as if it weren't loaded. He'd try about 3 times, look at the gun, pull the trigger, blow out his eye, but still survive.

+199

#4 to #2 - izazi (12/19/2015) [-]

>Goes to America...
>becomes citizen...
>buys brand new gun...
>pulls the trigger...
>gun jams...

+47

#7 to #4 - elvoz ONLINE (12/19/2015) [-]

That next-level Rasputin **** .

#11 to #4 - Zaxplab (12/19/2015) [-]

Shoulda bought an AK

#42 to #4 - torky (12/20/2015) [-]

>No refunds

+63

#21 - amusingusername (12/20/2015) [-]

This man is obviously a main character. He's protected by plot armor.

+39

#3 - evilhomer (12/19/2015) [-]

MFW

+26

#18 to #3 - jokervsbatsy (12/20/2015) [-]

+10

#29 to #18 - hxhmaniac (12/20/2015) [-]

#31 to #29 - djmaryhikineet (12/20/2015) [-]

someones going to ask so ima link it preemptively, www.youtube.com/watch?v=qtFU6qsuY8E and the song www.youtube.com/watch?v=TVI7S6zKiBM

#58 to #31 - derkarus (12/20/2015) [-]

You're doing gods work, not his important work, but his work none the less.

+17

#16 - jokervsbatsy (12/20/2015) [-]

+13

#17 to #16 - jokervsbatsy (12/20/2015) [-]

+14

#67 - barakakaka (12/20/2015) [-]

pppftt, fake and gay, No water heater I've heard of heats water.

#19 - Silver Quantum (12/20/2015) [-]

get up a tall building and make sure there's nothing down that could soften your fall and then jump. the guy chose the slowest or least effective ways to kill himself. he could also have used that knife to stab himself in the throat or heart instead of cutting his wrists. not saying he should kill himself, but if he really wanted to be dead, he would have found more efficient ways to do it

+11

#26 to #19 - brobyddark (12/20/2015) [-]

>Falls off building
>Bounces right back up, completely unharmed

>Tries to stab himself in the neck
>Ends up stuck, clogging up the hole

#27 to #26 - Silver Quantum (12/20/2015) [-]

right

#25 - anon (12/20/2015) [-]

why he want to commit sudoku and why he is behind bars? im curious i cant tell is he japanese or chinese

#39 to #25 - dubscausedthis (12/20/2015) [-]

in most places suicide attempts usually end up in you going to some kind of confinement, because if you can harm yourself, you can harm other people, and they decide you aren't fit for society.

#34 - RyderSechrest (12/20/2015) [-]

grenade in mouth

#38 to #34 - icefried (12/20/2015) [-]

#64 - sideismss (12/20/2015) [-]

when a maxed endurance and maxed luck character tries to commit suicide

#46 - gruesomejack (12/20/2015) [-]

Just jump off a building? Not many ways that can miraculously go wrong.

#81 to #46 - asotil (12/20/2015) [-]

A dump truck from the Mattress factory goes by at the last second saving his life

#48 to #46 - deroderpderp (12/20/2015) [-]

People have survived drops from planes without a chute, buddy.

#50 to #48 - gruesomejack (12/20/2015) [-]

If you were gonna put a figure to it, I'd suggest a 95%-99% chance of death from a substantial height.

#55 to #48 - throwingmylifeaway ONLINE (12/20/2015) [-]

Yeah, because they landed in trees or bushes. If you land on concrete, you're dead.

#33 - tollund (12/20/2015) [-]

Thats why you construct an elaborate rube goldberg machine to decapitate you

#10 - hanklecram (12/19/2015) [-]

Why didn't he just use a gun... honestly

if he had a gun he could have killed himself before those pesky mental health workers could get involved and helped him out of whatever temporary situation he was involved in.

#80 to #10 - reapermaster (12/20/2015) [-]

china has ****** gun laws too

#14 to #10 - tenaciouslee ONLINE (12/20/2015) [-]

The gun would've jammed.

This dude's got Fortune's **** from Sons of Liberty.

-2

#8 - biebergotswag (12/19/2015) [-]

a knife to the throat is the best way.

-3

#20 to #8 - muchname (12/20/2015) [-]

GIF

oh god, you're back...
welcome back, I s'ppose

#12 to #8 - komandantmirkoo (12/19/2015) [-]

i thought i was hallucinating when i saw your name.

#15 to #8 - anon (12/20/2015) [-]

**anonymous used "*roll picture*"**
**anonymous rolled image**

#56 to #8 - jimmytwoshoes (12/20/2015) [-]

#45 - lollypopalopicus ONLINE (12/20/2015) [-]

******* hell, at this point, I think either the universe is sending him a sign, or he is the reincarnation of Rasputin.

#60 to #45 - aejann (12/20/2015) [-]

That would require Rasputin to be dead

#41 - thesunpraiser (12/20/2015) [-]

You really can't go wrong with shooting yourself in the face.

#53 to #41 - tigronn (12/20/2015) [-]

there was a guy with OCD who got sick of his ocd, so he shot himself in the head..
Guess what, he shot the OCD part of his brain, he survived, and it cured him

#57 to #53 - rollfourexplain (12/20/2015) [-]

Are you sure that's legit? I reminds me of a math movie (about pi I think) where the main character is extremely obsessed with numbers and what not. In the end of the movie he takes a power drill and destroys that part of the brain. The fictional character can't do math any more, but he's happy with his life now.

#47 to #41 - chaosraptor (12/20/2015) [-]

idk
there was that guy who shot himself in the face with a shotgun and survived

#52 to #47 - scowler (12/20/2015) [-]

There was one man somewhere who tried to blow his head off with a .308 Battle Rifle (FAL). When the police found him, he was completely lucid, his nose and mouth were missing, and by some miracle his eyes remained fully functional.

There's a .GIF of this man on /K/. Looking at the camera, holding the rifle and sticking his thumb up. His face looked somewhat like this picture...

#73 to #52 - enslavedyouth ONLINE (12/20/2015) [-]

Is that a ******* octopus stuffed into a giant crab spider?

#88 to #73 - scowler (12/20/2015) [-]

Could be Squid...

#82 to #73 - asotil (12/20/2015) [-]

Yep. It's two delicacies wrapped into one in some countries

If you've ever eaten crab or calamari you don't get to say this is gross because it's roughly the same thing