After a hearty Indian dish
| |
Anonymous comments allowed.
49 comments displayed.
#5
-
oceanmist (01/15/2015) [-] Went to mexico for a week. Montezuma's revenge took the next week back. My poop-chute still shudders at the thought.
#50
-
mattdoggy (01/15/2015) [-] >decide to have a ricky bobby style Thanksgiving
>Red lobster biscuits, olive garden bread sticks, pizza hut, Mcdonalds, Burgerking, kfc gravy with mcdonalds fries for poutine, outback blooming onion, coke, mountain dew, and to crown it a full buffet of taco bell.
>we ate until we were full, kept going till we were miserable, then ate some more
>my stomach hurt all day and night
>the next day i got up and knew there was a storm coming but i had no idea what was to come
>I walked into the bathroom and saw the lights flickering, an omen foreshadowing the terror that was to come now see
>i strapped myself onto that porcelain throne that would soon become my final resting place
> a few farts let slip and they were strong enough to knock a buzzard off of a gut wagon at eighty paces
>I began the birthing pains and the slow death began
>As i strained i began to hear whispers from the dark corners of the room and shadows began to crawl out and dance around
>It was crowning and i was sure i gave birth to flame cloaked in shards of glass and thorns
>i began to sweat more and more and began to cry out
>my words were in ancient tongues long since dead and i used them to beg ancient beings for relief or death
>they ignored my cries
>elder runes appeared on my hands signifying this was a crap of legend that was to be marked till the end of time in song and myth
>I can't remember the ending because i blacked out but i found myself curled up on the floor in a pool of blood, it might not have been my own
>when i came out i made my brother retch and he asked "what did you eat?"
>"All of it"
>gif related, what i brought into this world
>Red lobster biscuits, olive garden bread sticks, pizza hut, Mcdonalds, Burgerking, kfc gravy with mcdonalds fries for poutine, outback blooming onion, coke, mountain dew, and to crown it a full buffet of taco bell.
>we ate until we were full, kept going till we were miserable, then ate some more
>my stomach hurt all day and night
>the next day i got up and knew there was a storm coming but i had no idea what was to come
>I walked into the bathroom and saw the lights flickering, an omen foreshadowing the terror that was to come now see
>i strapped myself onto that porcelain throne that would soon become my final resting place
> a few farts let slip and they were strong enough to knock a buzzard off of a gut wagon at eighty paces
>I began the birthing pains and the slow death began
>As i strained i began to hear whispers from the dark corners of the room and shadows began to crawl out and dance around
>It was crowning and i was sure i gave birth to flame cloaked in shards of glass and thorns
>i began to sweat more and more and began to cry out
>my words were in ancient tongues long since dead and i used them to beg ancient beings for relief or death
>they ignored my cries
>elder runes appeared on my hands signifying this was a crap of legend that was to be marked till the end of time in song and myth
>I can't remember the ending because i blacked out but i found myself curled up on the floor in a pool of blood, it might not have been my own
>when i came out i made my brother retch and he asked "what did you eat?"
>"All of it"
>gif related, what i brought into this world
#62 to #50
-
lordsepulchure (01/15/2015) [-] You brought this demon into our world. Now you must destroy it.
#66 to #50
-
thelastelephant (01/15/2015) [-] >McDonalds fries and KFC gravy
That sounds delicious enough to shave a year off my life.
That sounds delicious enough to shave a year off my life.
#76
-
finalfantasymaster (01/15/2015) [-] i once took ate an entire habanero by itself
what happened next was the worst...
>i ate it all because my brother dared me to
>i cried after i was done
>then i drank some soda to cool it off
>the gas just made it ******* worse
>i still swalowed, which i came to realize was the worst decision of my life
>after about an hour of feeling like a xenomorph was going to get out of my intestines i felt a weight go down to my colon
>the time is nigh
>went runing to the bathroom with the speed of kenyans
>ripped my belt off, pulled down my pants and sat down on the cold unforgiving seat of judgement
>i took a 13 second fart that smelled like raw egg
>i then released what felt like a curse sent by satan himself
>it took thirty minutes
>i flushed and stayed there for a while, but then the gods decided that i hadnt suffered enough
>a secon ********* approaches cap'n
>i took almost liquid **** , had to flush while it went out
>after i was done i was drenched in sweat and i felt my heart start to give away
>i wiped, pulled up my pants and washed my hands with my last strength
>i then proceeded to faint in the shower in fetal position
>
what happened next was the worst...
>i ate it all because my brother dared me to
>i cried after i was done
>then i drank some soda to cool it off
>the gas just made it ******* worse
>i still swalowed, which i came to realize was the worst decision of my life
>after about an hour of feeling like a xenomorph was going to get out of my intestines i felt a weight go down to my colon
>the time is nigh
>went runing to the bathroom with the speed of kenyans
>ripped my belt off, pulled down my pants and sat down on the cold unforgiving seat of judgement
>i took a 13 second fart that smelled like raw egg
>i then released what felt like a curse sent by satan himself
>it took thirty minutes
>i flushed and stayed there for a while, but then the gods decided that i hadnt suffered enough
>a secon ********* approaches cap'n
>i took almost liquid **** , had to flush while it went out
>after i was done i was drenched in sweat and i felt my heart start to give away
>i wiped, pulled up my pants and washed my hands with my last strength
>i then proceeded to faint in the shower in fetal position
>
#96 to #76
-
ivviism (01/15/2015) [-] Eating a whole habanero should send you to the ER... I once made the mistake of eating too much habanero tobasco sauce at once which isn't much and laid on my bed moaning in agony for about 20 minutes... And I love really spicy food. The spicier the better. Usually doesn't hurt.
#29
-
Virt 
(01/15/2015) [-] my moms boss got her these middle eastern "chips" id guess you call em? kinda like bugles or something
point is they all tasted like burnt firewood, i wont mock the culture or anyone who likes it but why?
(01/15/2015) [-] point is they all tasted like burnt firewood, i wont mock the culture or anyone who likes it but why?
#36 to #33
-
crazylance (01/15/2015) [-] I know that in Israel we call these "Krembos" and there's probably a better way to write it (Or the correct name anyway) but yeah, I agree, these are pretty tasty although sticky.
#74
-
zedong (01/15/2015) [-] My year in the Norwegian army. We had a ski march with 30 kg backpacks and 30 kg pulk sleds. We had 2 meals each day, at morning and in the evening, which were the armys ranger rations (freeze dried soups and stews ( 900 calories)) with with 100 grams of butter in each meal, so we could get another 750 calories for each meal. So, as you may understand, 200 gram of butter each day is a terrible idea, so at the third day, **** literally went down.
so, in snowy weather, in the mountains, i pushed a 2 kg brick out of my cold butt, followed by 2 liters of black oil, and i sat for 20 minutes and tried to wipe the **** away, but the oil leak never stopped, and I am so thankfully i brought a full roll of paper, because when i was done wiping, i had used the whole roll.
Video bc skiing norwegian
so, in snowy weather, in the mountains, i pushed a 2 kg brick out of my cold butt, followed by 2 liters of black oil, and i sat for 20 minutes and tried to wipe the **** away, but the oil leak never stopped, and I am so thankfully i brought a full roll of paper, because when i was done wiping, i had used the whole roll.
Video bc skiing norwegian
#99
-
brisineo (01/15/2015) [-] You don't know how truly life-changing spicy food is until you've had deadly levels like I have
>Be staggering out of Wing Nutz after attempting their Purgatory Wing Challenge where I consumed 10 wings of over 2 million scoville units of heat in under 3 minutes.
>lost on a freaking technicality. Stupid father stopping me at the wrong time to take a picture.
>The spice, however, took its effect
>All senses were overwhelmed from the pain then lost as my failing body flooded with dopamine and adrenaline and I transcended into the world of fire where I could feel and hear nothing but the white hot star in my gun that slowly descended towards the abyss
>whispering to me the dark curses and powers of what it unleashed in tongues unfathomable by mortal minds
>the sudden torrent of fire flooding my veins and the Warhead of Hellfire locking and loading itself into the firing position 3 hours later was my only warning as I strapped myself in for the long run
>The charred garbage that was my former human feces cleared itself first, making way for the demon that followed
>But with the colon finally cleared, and with several seconds of pushing, the heat still remained
>until..
>drip... drip... drip
>The hot wings had somehow been brewed and concentrated in my gut into three drops of the purest draconic venom, thick, sickly yellow, and with fumes so powerful, I dared not breathe to remain conscious.
>The pain got to me first, feeling my muscles lock up, then fall limp as my very anus dissolved
>I woke up collapsed on the floor in a huddled position, my bottom in a continued state of feeling as if it was over an open fire
>It took a whole roll of toilet paper and a cold shower before I could sit down properly again
>My butt still felt warm for two days.
>Spicy food. Not. Even. Once.
>Be staggering out of Wing Nutz after attempting their Purgatory Wing Challenge where I consumed 10 wings of over 2 million scoville units of heat in under 3 minutes.
>lost on a freaking technicality. Stupid father stopping me at the wrong time to take a picture.
>The spice, however, took its effect
>All senses were overwhelmed from the pain then lost as my failing body flooded with dopamine and adrenaline and I transcended into the world of fire where I could feel and hear nothing but the white hot star in my gun that slowly descended towards the abyss
>whispering to me the dark curses and powers of what it unleashed in tongues unfathomable by mortal minds
>the sudden torrent of fire flooding my veins and the Warhead of Hellfire locking and loading itself into the firing position 3 hours later was my only warning as I strapped myself in for the long run
>The charred garbage that was my former human feces cleared itself first, making way for the demon that followed
>But with the colon finally cleared, and with several seconds of pushing, the heat still remained
>until..
>drip... drip... drip
>The hot wings had somehow been brewed and concentrated in my gut into three drops of the purest draconic venom, thick, sickly yellow, and with fumes so powerful, I dared not breathe to remain conscious.
>The pain got to me first, feeling my muscles lock up, then fall limp as my very anus dissolved
>I woke up collapsed on the floor in a huddled position, my bottom in a continued state of feeling as if it was over an open fire
>It took a whole roll of toilet paper and a cold shower before I could sit down properly again
>My butt still felt warm for two days.
>Spicy food. Not. Even. Once.
#39
-
hokeymon (01/15/2015) [-] Went to China and got served a whole king fish in a metal tub. Asked for chefs' special and he cooked the entire fish in molten lava sauce. Sauce was equivalent to drinking Tabasco straight from the bottle and he made it into a soup. Then after we didn't finished it everyone in the entire restaurant stared at my family. One of the most racist places I've ever been and in a not funny way.
#84
-
mrsixinch (01/15/2015) [-] As an Indian, I generally feel that if cooks over-chili their food, it means that they're trying to hide something. Honestly, some of my favourite dishes from "home" are really mild, but flavorful from the use of good cooking and fresh ingredients. Flavour over abject hotness, any day.
#85 to #84
-
thelastamerican (01/15/2015) [-] That's not how it works in Murica. If you want real Indian food you've got to know an Indian person. Otherwise all you get is a bowl full of chili powder stuck together with pretend wasabi.
#45 to #40
-
schneidend ONLINE (01/15/2015) [-] That's called finally digesting properly because you had some ruffage.
