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Latest users (4): charizarddad, cognosceteipsum, focalanemo, hirollin, anonymous(13).
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#125679 - ipostcp (04/05/2014) [-]
Chick I like and who likes me have been working together. Thing is though she is a mom and she has a boyfriend she wants to get rid of. Personally, she is a great girl. She likes all the stuff I like and she is a 8/10 qt. She is really smart too.

I mean the boyfriend is on his way out the fucking door basically. I just... can't get past her kid. I mean, I'm sure her 1 and a half year old daughter is great and nice, but I don't know if I can take on a role at a "dad". I know I wouldn't be a dad, but it is still there.

Any advice here? I'm gunna ask her out for some coffee and maybe talk to her about breaking up with her boyfriend if everything goes smooth.
User avatar #125776 to #125679 - Timmietim (04/05/2014) [-]
Weren't you gay a while ago?
User avatar #125779 to #125776 - ipostcp (04/05/2014) [-]
I'm pansexual.
User avatar #125780 to #125779 - Timmietim (04/05/2014) [-]
Oh alright
User avatar #125727 to #125679 - hawaiianhappysauce (04/05/2014) [-]
I would avoid her like the plague. If this boyfriend wanted to marry her in 2 months then he is obviously obsessed and if he finds you he will fucking kill you because you are trying to take away something he holds most dear.
#125729 to #125727 - ipostcp (04/05/2014) [-]
So I shouldn't because I'm scared for my own safety?

You should see the father of the child. He is built like a tree trunk. I'm not scared of her boy friend.
User avatar #125730 to #125729 - hawaiianhappysauce (04/05/2014) [-]
Not sure what that simile means but let me point out more:

1. Can't get over a kid, that's a red flag.
2. Crazy boyfriend, red flag
3. You are having second thoughts, red flag.
4. Woman is conspiring against boyfriend with you, red flag because she might do the same to you.
5. Woman has a rough childhood and might lead to major emotional issues - red flag
6. You are bisexual and that is just a gay persons way of hiding - colorful flag
7. "At least he saves a ton on babysitting costs." So basically he is a tool for her. - Red flag.
8. She doesn't want to break his heart - Red Flag.
9. You said you are not sure if ready for a relationship, this woman is probably looking for someone to not only be her new boyfriend, but also a new father - RED FLAG.
10. You don't even know what you want to do with your life and this is something that will slow your decisions down. - red flag.

There. If I find more then I will post, but this should be enough for you to think hard (it's not that hard the answer is no) about it. Now I know you probably are a man whore and want easy pussy, but you have to think with your brain here. This is a trap and you have to avoid it.
User avatar #125735 to #125730 - ipostcp (04/05/2014) [-]
1: I personally can't get over it because if I become a "dad" then that's a very large role I need to fill. I'm nervous about the idea
2: He isn't crazy. Not from what I have heard. He is apparently normal for the most part. Swag fag though.
3:Because I just met her basically
4:"Might" Besides, she is dating some fucking loser. I'd want to get rid of him too.
5: Everyone has emotional issues
6:I find her attractive. Why is this even an issue?
7:No shit. She is heavily relying on him for support. Just like any NORMAL person would.
8: Her way of saying she needs support in her life.
9: Well no shit sherlock. Why do you think I'm nervous?
10: I'm not thinking about me only here. That's not how relationships work.

Want me to counter this?
1: She is very "for" her kid. She has a job and is keeping it. She will do anything for her. Thus a responsible person.
2: She is aware she is in a bad situation with her boyfriend. That's why she wants to get rid of him.
3: She is very smart and you can tell for how quickly she grasps rather complex things.
4: She is careful on what she says to people. She doesn't go spouting shit that doesn't need to be said.
5: She used to be in an abusive relationship. She got out of it. She isn't in for that fairy tail type of romance. (I'm fairly sure)

Besides all that, I really like the girl.
User avatar #125752 to #125735 - iridium (04/05/2014) [-]
It's easy to become blinded by love and romantic interest. Make sure you consider all factors here with everything.

It kind of depends on how she is as a person. Being good with kids is definitely a must here. You're not going to have to assume a dad role right away unless she insists (in which case, that's a bigass fucking red flag right there), but be supportive at least; be willing to babysit, to be nice to the kid, basically, play sort of a "good uncle"-type role. If you aren't good with kids or able to at least put up with them, you have no chance here. And I assume you're also pretty young here, so for the love of shit make sure you know your own responsibilities in life and make sure you have at least some shit in order yourself (particularly a job).

I'm not going to tell you not to pursue this relationship, and in fact if you can handle things I almost encourage you if you're a decent person. But as I don't know you as a person and you've expressed doubts about the situation, I think it's important that you yourself come to terms with everything. Consider pros and cons, what you are able to do and what you're not. And for the love of shit, make sure you're not just in this for yourself. And also, make sure you don't overcommit to things. You can break up with her if you have to, just do that with tact.

And as someone said: remember you're not going to be her number 1, ever. At best you may be able to be her number 2. Her number 1 should be her child, or she's doing the parenting thing wrong. I can understand why you would have doubts about this. Just don't be blinded by it.
User avatar #125754 to #125752 - ipostcp (04/05/2014) [-]
I have a job right not that pays 16/h and will go to 22/h after 4 years. I can also work overtime if need be. A job isn't a problem.

I am 19 and she is 20. It's just sorta jumping right into it doesn't it seem like it?
User avatar #125756 to #125754 - iridium (04/05/2014) [-]
That's up to you to decide how you feel about, not me.
#125757 to #125756 - ipostcp (04/05/2014) [-]
Then let me ask you this then.

Do you in honestly think 2 people without their highschool could properly raise a child or be normal? I don't like to start things I don't have a chance of finishing.
User avatar #125758 to #125757 - iridium (04/05/2014) [-]
Yes, but the key word is can. Without knowing the two people, it doesn't look very good.
User avatar #125759 to #125758 - ipostcp (04/05/2014) [-]
I suppose so.
#125719 to #125679 - dehumanizer (04/05/2014) [-]
>she's a mom

yeah no, ruuun dude, ruuun
#125738 to #125721 - dehumanizer (04/05/2014) [-]
why? Isnt it obvious? She had her fun with chad during the prime of her life and now she's looking for a beta orbiter to do her biding, dont get fooled for second hand stuff anon, she's probably looser than a plastic bag
#125739 to #125738 - ipostcp (04/05/2014) [-]
You're going to get second hand shit no matter what. You think you're going to get a catholic virgin to marry and have 3 kids and have a happy, "Normal" life?

Life is about adventure and taking chances.

Besides, everyone makes mistakes in their life. Why should I judge her based on what I barely know?
#125744 to #125739 - dehumanizer (04/05/2014) [-]
you seem to be implying that all women arent shit

oh also the current boyfriend is not the father? yeah she's a slut, run away anon dont become used
User avatar #125746 to #125744 - ipostcp (04/05/2014) [-]
I'm not really sure of the situation of when she got pregnant. All I know is the father is abusive, gets angry easily and what not. It very easily could of been unwilling.

So would you rather her stay with an abusive man? Or get somebody better?
#125747 to #125746 - dehumanizer (04/05/2014) [-]
why was she with him in the first place then? could it be that shes lying and manipulating you just like what she's doing to her current man
#125748 to #125747 - ipostcp (04/05/2014) [-]
Have you ever dated anyone before?

Like any real relationship? Do you know how people work?

He was obviously a crutch.

You are starting to sound like somebody with autism.
#125749 to #125748 - dehumanizer (04/05/2014) [-]
>having any sort of relation with females outside of your family

good goy
#125750 to #125749 - ipostcp (04/05/2014) [-]
Oh, so here you are giving me life advice on something you know nothing about. GG.
#125751 to #125750 - dehumanizer (04/05/2014) [-]
have fun beeing a slave just for some loose cunt
have fun beeing a slave just for some loose cunt
User avatar #125684 to #125679 - alexanderburns ONLINE (04/05/2014) [-]
So you're 100% sure that her boyfriend is as good as gone and that she's into you? No doubts whatsoever? Because that conversation would be extremely awkward and you would come across as a huge asshole to her if what you believe is untrue.
#125685 to #125684 - ipostcp (04/05/2014) [-]
"He said he wanted to get married after two months, that's so fucking weird"
"I want to get rid of him, but I don't want to break his heart"
"All he does is sit at home all day... but at least he saves me a ton on baby sitting costs"
"He can't get a job because he has a criminal record, it is really stupid"
"I'm not really sure I want my child around somebody like that"

If this is her wanting him, then she is crazier than him.
User avatar #125687 to #125685 - alexanderburns ONLINE (04/05/2014) [-]
Okay, solid. Next question.

That thing that happened with your dick coworker trying to get you fired and everyone else taking your side. Did everyone (mainly this girl you're talking about now) know that you asked a guy out? If so, (this may come across as some kind of mockery, but it is not) has it been made clear to her that you're bi rather than full-on gay? That she doesn't think you're her gay friend?
User avatar #125688 to #125687 - ipostcp (04/05/2014) [-]
She came to my work place in the middle of the whole ordeal. I can safely say she knows I like pussy too though.
User avatar #125689 to #125688 - alexanderburns ONLINE (04/05/2014) [-]
Alrighty then. Onto my advice.

If you can't get past her having a kid, don't bother. Her child will (hopefully) always be her number one priority, and if you choose to be involved in her life that child will be involved in your life. You won't be thrust into the role of a father, but you will be thrust into a role. You will be given responsibilities. You'd be getting into something more than an average relationship. It's up to you to decide if you're willing and able to do it.
User avatar #125696 to #125689 - ipostcp (04/05/2014) [-]
That's the thing though. I'm not sure if I'm able to do it. I mean, that's a lot to just jump into. That being said, if I were to start a relationship... then that's a lot of pressure. Hell, I still don't know what I want to do with my life career wise.
User avatar #125682 to #125679 - awesomerninjathing ONLINE (04/05/2014) [-]
she has a boyfriend. she's out of bounds until she becomes single.
User avatar #125683 to #125682 - ipostcp (04/05/2014) [-]
#125680 to #125679 - ipostcp (04/05/2014) [-]
Also, I'm just throwing this out there. She hasn't had a whole lot of great stuff happen in her life and I feel like a good role model or somebody she could rely on would help her a lot. Not saying I'm perfect and my family is perfect, but it is a lot better than what she has told me about herself.
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