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Adventures in Retail 1: The Feminazi

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Views: 59586 Favorited: 131 Submitted: 05/16/2014
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#7 - retrochris (05/16/2014) [+] (13 replies)
stickied by godgem
Put this on a shirt and wear it
User avatar #27 - godgem (05/16/2014) [+] (7 replies)
stickied by godgem
User avatar #33 - vetis (05/16/2014) [+] (5 replies)
How the **** is spiderpig offensive and 'pushing forward the male agenda'? I don't even have an agenda. I barely use a ******* calender.
User avatar #52 - ishallsmiteyou (05/16/2014) [+] (6 replies)
mine is a bit short, but still pretty ****** up
>sitting in school hallway eating burger
>this burger is the ******* epitome of deliciousness
>get two bites out of it before I hear "WHAT THE **** DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING YOU CHAUVINISTIC MEAT-EATING ******** !!!"
>look up, feeling rather shocked and confused
>it's the school's only 3 feminists (they're all vegans too) that take it to nazi level
>I say "trying to eat my burg-"
>sentence interrupted by said burger being punted out of my hands by the fattest one of them all
>before I can react all three are on top of me attempting to bash my skull in
>security finally shows up, when they ask what happened all three feminazis say I tried to rape them
> ******* hell
>turns out there was a security camera just down the hall that recorded the whole thing
>feminazis all get booted from not just the school, but the school board as a whole
>security guard hands me 5 bucks to get a burger
>it was a ******* awesome burger
#55 - hypex ONLINE (05/16/2014) [+] (16 replies)
not sure what to label this one chick i met, probably some diseased offspring off feminazi and hamplanets
>sit at a bar waiting for my date (miscalculated how long it would take to walk there, arrived 5 minutes too early)
>i see a hamplanet and her 2 moons sitting at the bardesk glancing over at me like im a burger or something
>the lust in her eyes is scaring the **** out of me and i start to consider calling my date and ask for another bar/place to go to
>after flapping the 5kg gums of hers up and down and producing "speech" with her moons she waddles over to my table
>without any warning she sits in the chair which creaks in despair of her colossal weight
>"hey their handsome" she says with the look of a starving hyena in her eyes
>"oh hi" i reply rather scared for my life
>"wanna buy me a drink big boy?" she sputters between her oversized underlip and what i assume was her over lip as it had stains of lipstick smeared all over it
>at this point im trying really hard not to laugh over the term "big boy" as im about 90 kiloes and she was weighing in at probably around 250
>"uhhmmm noo... sorry, im waiting for my date to arrive you see"
>"OH REALLY NOW?!?" she yells in a incoherent and sudden rage
>"THATS JUST AN EXQUISE (thats how she pronounced it) FOR YOU NOT BEING ABLE TO HANDLE A REAL WOMAN WITH CURVES"
>"but-"
>"YOU SHOULD CHECK YOUR PRIVILEGE STRAIGHT CIS SCUM"
>"wha-"
>"YOU DISGUSTING CHAUVINISTIC PIGS SHOULD ALL DI-" she gets cut off as one of the biker guys that frequent the bar had grabbed her by the fatrolls and dragged her out of the bar (how the man had enough strenght to drag that thing is beyond me)
>"DISGUSTING STRAIGHT WHITE MALE PRIVILEGE" i hear yelling from outside
>my date strolls in looking more puzzled than forrest gump over a rubicks cube
>what the **** was all that about? he asks
>as he sits down across from me i see the hamplanet outside in a state of shock, confusion and rage
>mfw
#1 - zergswarm (05/16/2014) [+] (5 replies)
User avatar #79 - landerp (05/17/2014) [+] (5 replies)
>delivery driver at pizza hut
>deliver one medium pizza and a liter of dp to some house in a poor neighborhood
>woman opens the door wearing shirt that says "I hate men"
>becomes greatly offended at seeing a man on her doorstep
>dumps hot tar all over me, covers me in white feathers
>feminazis start pouring out of the house like ants
>start doing the rain dance in a circle around me to summon female warrior spirit
>my penis shrivels and turns inside out
>now i have a vagina
>call cops, all women executed on the spot
>i made up this story
>at least I'm honest about it
#69 - ButtonFly (05/17/2014) [+] (9 replies)
I've had a similar run in a few years back.   
>Walk around town when suddenly   
>Slut Walk.   
>Tons of Feminazi's running around wearing little else thatn lingerie with the word "slut" painted on their faces or stomachs.   
>One slut walker notices me   
>"Hey slut!"   
>Ignore   
>"Slut"   
>Continue ignoring   
>"Hey! Slut! Hey!"   
>More irritating than Navi.   
>Turn around "I'm not a slut!"   
>Slut Walker seems perturbed but keeps talking "There's no shame in being a slut. It's our word. We're owning it. We're taking it back."   
>Wraps arm around me like we're part of the Slut-hood of the Traveling Pants.   
>"You don't need to wear big, ugly clothing like that. You should be free to walk around in whatever you want without fear of being raped by men."   
>High insulted at this point.    
>In less than five minutes of meeting this loathsome person I was called a slut multiple times and told that my clothes were ugly.   
>"I am wearing the clothes I want. I like my clothes. I don't want to be called a slut. Go away."   
>Feminazi grabs my shirt.   
>"EMBRACE YOUR INNER SLUT!"   
>Begins to try to forcibly remove my shirt from my body.   
>Scream for help.   
>Cops come.   
>MFW Feminazi was arrested for sexual assault.
I've had a similar run in a few years back.
>Walk around town when suddenly
>Slut Walk.
>Tons of Feminazi's running around wearing little else thatn lingerie with the word "slut" painted on their faces or stomachs.
>One slut walker notices me
>"Hey slut!"
>Ignore
>"Slut"
>Continue ignoring
>"Hey! Slut! Hey!"
>More irritating than Navi.
>Turn around "I'm not a slut!"
>Slut Walker seems perturbed but keeps talking "There's no shame in being a slut. It's our word. We're owning it. We're taking it back."
>Wraps arm around me like we're part of the Slut-hood of the Traveling Pants.
>"You don't need to wear big, ugly clothing like that. You should be free to walk around in whatever you want without fear of being raped by men."
>High insulted at this point.
>In less than five minutes of meeting this loathsome person I was called a slut multiple times and told that my clothes were ugly.
>"I am wearing the clothes I want. I like my clothes. I don't want to be called a slut. Go away."
>Feminazi grabs my shirt.
>"EMBRACE YOUR INNER SLUT!"
>Begins to try to forcibly remove my shirt from my body.
>Scream for help.
>Cops come.
>MFW Feminazi was arrested for sexual assault.
#67 - thelastelephant ONLINE (05/17/2014) [-]
>Be me   
>Working in a clothing outlet store   
>First job ever   
>Working in the women's section, see a customer browsing sweaters   
>"Can I help you find anything today, ma'am?"   
>Customer: "I want you to explain to me how our justice system can put innocent young men in prison but let convicted terrorists walk free."   
>Customer then leaves   
>MFW
>Be me
>Working in a clothing outlet store
>First job ever
>Working in the women's section, see a customer browsing sweaters
>"Can I help you find anything today, ma'am?"
>Customer: "I want you to explain to me how our justice system can put innocent young men in prison but let convicted terrorists walk free."
>Customer then leaves
>MFW
#39 - totallynotme (05/16/2014) [+] (4 replies)
I still fail to see how Spider Pig is sexist.
User avatar #40 - ninjaroo (05/16/2014) [+] (4 replies)
I had a door to door sales job for a while, I wouldn't exactly call this woman a feminazi but she was a landwhale with a short fuse for sure.
>Knock on door, casually wait for it to open
>Overweight woman opens, Australia so I don't think twice
>G'day, how are you? My names anon and I'm just walking up and down your street lovely street having a chat to some of the homeowners, would that be yourself? Company lines, had to say some variation on that.
>10 minute conversation about product follows, woman is interested
>Start to close
>Right, so here's what I can do for you today is get my manager to come out and have a chat with you and your husband, he'll -
>Woman interrupts me, begins to turn red and enter rage mode
>"Why does my husband have to be here?"
>Uh, it's the law ma'am, when organizing changes to your home all homeowners must be present.
>90% rage mode, begins yelling at me
>"I AM IN CHARGE OF THIS HOUSE AND I MAKE THE DECISIONS AROUND HERE, I SHOULD BE ABLE TO MAKE A DECISION WITHOUT YOU DICTATING WHO HAS TO BE INVOLVED"
>I'm very sorry ma'am, there's nothing me or the company I work for can do about that, these are the regulations we have to work under to keep the consumers safe and informed.
>100% rage mode, woman is now incomprehensibly screaming, slams door in my face

First person I talked to on my second day of work.
#18 - badgerbaiting ONLINE (05/16/2014) [+] (7 replies)
Why did you not slap the bitch?
User avatar #22 to #21 - godgem (05/16/2014) [-]
Fear for my life? From nail scissors? Who am I? The TSA?
#26 - diedede (05/16/2014) [+] (1 reply)
Please
#14 - yuvesh (05/16/2014) [+] (2 replies)
i dont understand what she has against spider pig.   
   
either way it was funny and i thumbed
i dont understand what she has against spider pig.

either way it was funny and i thumbed
#139 - rambomanthree (05/17/2014) [+] (1 reply)
Someone please explain to me how a spider pig shirt can be considered sexist?
Someone please explain to me how a spider pig shirt can be considered sexist?
User avatar #148 - bigdikdave (05/17/2014) [-]
How do you get the shirt on if there are no holes?
#146 - MrShaggy (05/17/2014) [+] (4 replies)
This never happened.
User avatar #5 - matakeshi ONLINE (05/16/2014) [+] (1 reply)
pls do mor
#68 - icametocomment (05/17/2014) [+] (5 replies)
The stories in this thread seem a bit too far-fetched, but then again, I'm a country bumpkin living in one of the quieter parts of Virginia, so what do I know about the real world?
#11 - willindor (05/16/2014) [-]
OP's FW.
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