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Achievements D&D

KILL AN WHERE ENEMY WITH A HEAD SHUT.
FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC
SAVE A PC IN NEED.
20% COOLER
GET A BETTER SET OF ARMOR,
NOTHING Is TRUE
KILL AN NFC WITHOUT BEING SEEN OR HEARD.
STOP HITTING YOURSELF
REACH o HP FROM A FUMBLED ATTACK ROLL
WANNA SEE MY MASK?
INT AN INTIMIDATION CHECK,
FLAWLESS VICTORY
HUNT TAKE DAMAGE IN AN ENCOUNTERD
ARE You NOT ENTERTAINED?
FINISH AN ENCOUNTER WITHIN IO NOUNAL
HE' S DEAD, JIM
DIE FOR THE FIRST TIME.
FOOL ME TWICE
DIE FOR THE SECOND TIME.
THIRD TIME' S A CHARM
DIE FOR THE THIRD TIME.
SAFETY FIRST
DISCOVER A TRAP BEFORE IT DISCOVER, YOU.
DID You BREAK A MIRROR?
ROLL 2 FUMBLES IN A ROW,
CLEVER GIRL
FLANK; AND KILL AN UNSUSPECTING ENEMY.
SNAKE? SNAKE?!
LOSE THE CAMPAIGN.
You Bow To No ONE
BEAT THE CAMPAIGN.
...
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Views: 23307
Favorited: 202
Submitted: 05/07/2015
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+3
#16 - scooba ONLINE (05/08/2015) [+] (1 reply)
stickied by maledicere
Just gonna leave this here for anyone who wants to play D&D. www.roll20.net
Just gonna leave this here for anyone who wants to play D&D.

www.roll20.net
Reply
+50
#2 - applescryatnight (05/07/2015) [-]
>group of necromancers ambush us
>they cast both blindness and deafness on me
>noob at the game, not quite sure what i should do in this situation.
>begin stomping ground furiously and screaming to unlock some sort of tremorsense or echolocation
>DM is chill with giving momentary powers if the situation calls for it, makes things fun.
>tells me to roll a 18 or higher to get tremorsense for the remainder of the battle.
>i roll a 1.

"your attempt at tremorsense has failed, but your stomping looked like an incredible dance routine"
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0
User avatar #57 to #2 - izdubar ONLINE (05/08/2015) [-]
'Roll 18 or more to get tremorsense' - that sounds way too ******* generous and soft-hearted, if you ask me. A good DM is a harsh mistress to his players, like the sea. And just like the sailors, players learn to love this, so much so that they're never able to return to their life on the shore.

Okay, I might've gone a bit far with that parallel, but you catch my drift right?
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#62 to #57 - applescryatnight (05/08/2015) [-]
yeah totally, it was just a minor little skirmish with a few low level enemies and the DM thought we could use some comedic relief.
it happens once every few sessions and only during side quests, never during important super serious times.
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+24
User avatar #30 - shadylight (05/08/2015) [-]
>Be in campaign
>DM tells us that there is a dark energy emanated from a dark section of the forest
>everyone misses their Spot check so we don't really know what's going on.
>Sorceress of our group is paranoid and decides to hide behind our Sage (almost lvl 20) NPC guide. (We are all lvl 4)
>NPC sage is casting a banish spell.
>Sorceress rolls arcane to learn about the spell.
>Natural 1.
>Sage throws his arms back to finish casting his spell and smashes her eye.
>NPC concentration check fails as well and the banish spell makes contact with sorceress eye.
>Sorceress eye is banish to another Plane.
> I break character and ask her if she can see why kids love the taste of cinnamon toast crunch.
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+6
User avatar #8 - TheMather ONLINE (05/07/2015) [-]
Not on there, but something I feel should've been an achievement:
>NPC had been kidnapped and a demand for poems were issued.
>Party bard fancies himself a poet in character.
>Head to arranged meeting place, a ghost is holding the NPC hostage in the middle of a large clearing.
>Obviously very powerful, basically has full control of surroundings.
>Bard takes the lead in negotiations, **** is going south fast.
>Screw that, I have +14 to Stealth.
>Sneak around, enter clearing from behind, grab NPC, drag her into the bushes.
>She stumbles but I catch her before she makes any noise.
>Ghost has had it with the bard, turns around to possess NPC or some **** .
>She's gone, ghost is thoroughly confused since she was right behind him, thought she vanished into thin air or some **** .

In the end, we decided to fight the ghost anyways, for ***** and giggles, but we made short work of it since the Ranger (who the DM gave magic bolts that create miniature black holes to since he complained about never being able to hit **** ) managed to land a critical hit with his crossbow on the first turn.
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-1
#5 - xak (05/07/2015) [-]
How much is A people?
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+6
User avatar #6 to #5 - lolwatthe (05/07/2015) [-]
It means a society, you could consider druids a people.
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+4
#52 - tyrson (05/08/2015) [-]
As the DM of an upcoming campaign, I approve of this message.
As the DM of an upcoming campaign, I approve of this message.
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+3
User avatar #1 - crazyolitis (05/07/2015) [-]
Does killing an undead by bashing it in the head with a staff count? Because then I have double tap.
Got flawless victory
Are you not entertained?
I'm okay.
Holla holla get dolla.
Does that mean I go first? (multiple times in 1 session, even)
Never tell me the odds (If memory serves, I rolled to 1. control a a giant half-undead war-forged, and 2. make him sapient. The chance to get it was 0.125%. Good times.)
Avengers assemble.
You know nothing, Jon Snow.
The other half.
A wizard is never late.
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+1
User avatar #10 to #1 - crazyolitis (05/07/2015) [-]
Aaaand
"He's dead, Jim" can be added to the list...
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+1
User avatar #31 to #10 - akihiro (05/08/2015) [-]
Can't say it ended badly for you though XD
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+4
User avatar #7 - hagbom (05/07/2015) [-]
The "Wanna See My Mask" achievement wont work since you cant crit skill checks, not in D&D 5th Edition atleast
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0
User avatar #13 to #7 - hadrian (05/07/2015) [-]
You can't crit skill checks in 3.x or Pathfinder either. It seems that particular achievement is just flawed.
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-1
User avatar #23 to #7 - Bion ONLINE (05/08/2015) [-]
Rolling a 20 on any check (almost any), is a pass. Not technically a crit, but is often called so.
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#26 to #23 - anon (05/08/2015) [-]
Not in 5th at least it isn't, it's the entire reason for DC 25 or 30 checks in 5th. The idea is that NO ordinary person could do it, you would have to be extremely skilled or otherwise gifted in a way others would not be. A low-level rogue can get a +8 on certain skill checks but they are still incapable of beating a DC 30 challenge because it wouldn't make sense for them to be able to, it requires basically superhuman ability which, while they may achieve it later, couldn't be succeeded by any combination of dumb luck and skill they had accumulated yet.
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-1
User avatar #27 to #26 - Bion ONLINE (05/08/2015) [-]
Well, that's the way it was in 3 and 3.5. Which have always been the most popular versions. Most people I see complain about 4.0 + dumbing it down too much. High DC checks were still a thing back then, and would be so exceedingly high, that the only way to pass them, was, to crit.

Just because a lvl 1 Rogue picks your master tier lock doesn't mean the rules need changing, rather the GM's ability to adapt.
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User avatar #46 to #27 - psychetest (05/08/2015) [-]
No, you can't crit skills in 3.5 either. You're wrong. Might have been a house rule but you can only crit saves and attacks in 3.5 RAW.
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#29 to #7 - anon (05/08/2015) [-]
More specifically, the rules say that usually natural 1s or 20s don't apply, but many DM's homerule otherwise.
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+1
#22 to #7 - phantomfivefive (05/08/2015) [-]
In every RPG I have played where you rolled a d20, regardless of what the roll is for, a natural 20 has been a critical hit or critical pass. I think it has been house ruled so widely, it as been taken as a true rule in the games.
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+2
#9 to #7 - hagbom (05/07/2015) [-]
Same goes for "Friends, Romans, Countrymen" "Cirque Du Soleil Runaway" and "Crikey"

Otherwise, pretty funny list, considering printing it out and using it in my current game, but keeping it a secret until the session is over, just to see how many they can fill out.
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+2
#20 - Hiago (05/08/2015) [-]
Damn, this gets used a lot.
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+2
#18 - thewasteland (05/08/2015) [-]
Only in DnD can you tame a Owl Bear, fall into -25 hp, live, and then start a bar fight while only being on the brink of stable as a wizard ready's a level 20 spell to smite thy honky ass in magic fire.

I must say I have done the exact situation more than once and the DM still hates me and wont let me role a warrior again until I stop defying defying human physiology
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User avatar #24 to #18 - sketchE (05/08/2015) [-]
-25 hp? what edition
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#39 to #24 - phantomfivefive (05/08/2015) [-]
Sounds like 4e. From what little I remember from it, you die when your health is negative your con score.
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User avatar #59 to #39 - sketchE (05/08/2015) [-]
yeah i liked 3e and earlier with health. it made things simpler
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#28 - pugsy ONLINE (05/08/2015) [-]
>20% percent cooler
ahahahah oh wow nice cancer
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+1
User avatar #41 to #28 - Lainge (05/08/2015) [-]
Of course it's cancer.
It's achievements for ttrpgs.
Achievements ruined videogames, just ignore this **** and assume it's a joke and not actually being serious and it'll be fine.
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User avatar #58 to #41 - gnollie ONLINE (05/08/2015) [-]
Ruined? Do explain please.
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+1
#51 to #28 - mustardbater (05/08/2015) [-]
>achievements for d&d >mlp reference is the cancer ohkay mane.
>achievements for d&d
>mlp reference is the cancer

ohkay mane.
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+1
User avatar #25 - dimiara (05/08/2015) [-]
imma use this and when a player gets one they get bonus ****
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+1
User avatar #19 - dndxplain (05/08/2015) [-]
so what do I get for unlocking all of them?
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+1
#48 to #19 - maledicere [OP](05/08/2015) [-]
I'm going on a longshot here... Without the key of course
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+1
User avatar #49 to #48 - dndxplain (05/08/2015) [-]
ask my boyfriend dehnoobshow
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+1
User avatar #54 to #49 - dehnoobshow (05/08/2015) [-]
About what? I just woke up.
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+1
#14 - shadowbreech (05/07/2015) [-]
Grab a seat Bitches, I've done a ton of these

He's Dead Jim
It's In The Pipes
I Speak Jive
This is Bat Country
Showoff
All The World's A Stage
Put The "Tard" In "Tardy"
What Are You, Psychic
Never Tell me the Odds
Does This Mean I Go First?
Are you not Entertained
20% Cooler
Friendship is Magic (I'm always Frontline/Tank so naturally...)
Dobby is Free
I'm Okay
It's Super Effective
Valar Morghulis
Get On With It!
Live, Damn You
******* Hippie (I got dominated and due to a DM mistake I spent the entire encounter displeased with myself because I couldn't "defend my master" as he was flying around shooting lightning at my team)
Cirque Du Soleil Runaway
Half The Title
The Other Half
That Ain't Falco
Life, Uh, Finds A Way
Not Today
Ain't Got Time To Bleed
The Cardinal Sin
A Wizard is Never Late
(Working on) Do You Hear The People Sing?
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User avatar #15 to #14 - shadowbreech (05/07/2015) [-]
Forgot one of my best,
Does He Look Like A Bitch? DM didn't even make me roll for it I roleplayed it so well
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+1
User avatar #3 - ljxjlos (05/07/2015) [-]
Never thought I´d like D&D, always thought it´d be too nerdy quite harsh, coming from a guy with Tolkien-Tattooes but now that I tried it, I really love it.
Sadly our DM doesn´t really have time anymore since he moved a bit further away.
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#60 to #3 - anon (05/08/2015) [-]
Convince him to learn and use roll20.net , then that won't be a problem
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-1
#47 - norkasthethird (05/08/2015) [-]
absolutely disgusting
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#56 - izdubar ONLINE (05/08/2015) [-]
>mix player and character knowledge
>achievement

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#55 - phoxic (05/08/2015) [-]
MWF I have actually used that exact quote to taunt an enemy
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User avatar #53 - tyrson (05/08/2015) [-]
Ok, wait. "Are you not entertained?" requires that you clear an encounter in less than 10 rounds.
What?
We rarely take more than 5. Rogues sneak in, 1 hit KO the biggest bad guy(s) in the room. Caster nukes a tank or a bunch of minions, and the barbarian runs in and starts finishing off stragglers. I've seen a group take out an encounter 3 levels higher than their own before the enemies ever even got to draw their weapons.
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#42 - woodoo (05/08/2015) [-]
Double tap: does fallout-esque gouls count? if so, check.
Friendship is magic: done, played a goblin healer, healed a bloke from 1 to 9 hp, he took 7 hp damage next round.
20% cooler: done
nothing is true: done, killed a sentry using only my wits, a broken potions bottle, and a lobotomized clock-work cyborg bear.
Stop hitting yourself: done, altough i died from it, as me reaching 0 led to me falling off a cliff.
wanna see my mask: done, scared the **** out of a random clerk when i reloaded my shotgun.
Flawles victory: done, i hid behind said lobotomized clock-work cyborg bear.
Are you not entertained: done, see lobotomized clock-work cyborg bear.
he's dead jim: done, see double fumble.
Fool me twice: done, old age is a bitch.
Third times the charm: done, ****** stepped on my head when i slept(low level campaign)
Safety first: done, got laid anyway.
Did you break-: done, see stop hitting yourself.
Clever girl: done, noone expects a goblin with an invisible dagger to be a legit threat when they are fighting a giant lock-work cyborg bear, but that dagger is nasty, and this was the goblin that wrestled the bear to the ground and turned him into a lobotomized clockwork cyborg.
Snake? etc: done, the nazis won.
You bow to noone: done, slaves freed, got laid(with a supermutant looking mofo, so... doesnt matter had sex.)
Objection!: summoned the god of justice to be the judge for it, played a stick-in-the-mud wannabe paladin, over a stolen horse.
Who needs sleep: done, played a ghoul like thing, didnt need to sleep. Iv'e also played an elf, they can't sleep.
Rasputin: done, ripped all the skin off of my hands, broke most fingers, cracked skull, all in one event, which resulted in a lobotomized clock-work cyborg bear.
King me: became ambassador of the goblins among dwarves, ended up ruling a nation of tiny gnomes later.
She turne me into a newt: literaly this, played as a small lizard for about 4 hours, then some ****** stepped on my head as i slept.
African or european: i... im not actually sure. may have been about 25-ish minutes.
I speak jive: done, only one of party who spoke dwarvish(including 2 dwarves, one raised by humans, the other one rendered mute by a blow to the throat)
Missionary position: remember the tiny gnomes? they worshipped their former leader as a god, i killed him, they worshipped me as a god, done.
heart of darkness: see above.
It's in the pipes: never actually done.
Dobby is free: done
I solemnly swear: done, it was a map of the continent, made for firstgraders, as my character could hardly read.
It's levi'oh'sah: done, see skinned hands, broken fingers.
One musnt tell lies: called out the dorfs for lying in court, hence the whole "goblin respected by dwarves" thing.
Mithrades, he died old: well, technically yes, the ghoul character was immune to poison damage, and if he had taken it, he would have taken some 200 damage, but...
Helen keller: nope.
cont:
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#43 to #42 - woodoo (05/08/2015) [-]
single file solar system: yupp, the invisible dagger my goblin used had a ridicilously high chance of critting.
Sexual tyrannosaur: does being seduced cunt? if so deffinetly, if not, yes, sorta.
it only counts as one: see bear.
you merely adopted the dark: see ghoul character, could see in complete darkness.
Friends romans countrymen: see goblin becoming friendly wath dwarves.
The lady protests too much: it's very hard to decieve when you're a newt.
fatality: i once used a decorative pot as a weapon, the pot contained a powerfull curse that sucked his soul in, does that count?
imperial marksman academy: done some 50 times over, i magdumped 200 shots from a minigun in suppresive fire, one hit.
something something sparta: almost, ****** survived.
Im okay: done, supermutant thing pushed my ghoul thing on the ground, and got a crit to the head, my character rolled them over, said "my turn" and pulped his skull.
holla holla get dollah: done, though we started with 1500 gold to start, and it usd a different trade system.
My precious: ... nope, the nazis got it.
it's super effective: well, the warlock we fought proved to be quit weak to overwhelming physical force, which i found out when aforementioned lobotomized cyborg clock-work bear gave him a hug.
can you do me a solid: done, see god of justice.
A bird in the hand: rolled 4 on my literacy check, use a reroll as i didnt want to be illiterate, got a 3. Then i bought a map for first-year students.
This is bat country: goblin alchemist, tested some potions, found a healing potion with strong sideeffects, sold it as a drug.
valar morghulis: done, the nazis won.
Sic semper tyrannis. done, see leader of gnomes.
breake rof chains. done, see freed slaves, literally broke their chains as well.
Dracerys: need i even say it?
chaos is a ladder: we didnt use alaignments, as they are stupid.
The rains of castamare:... well, whent he nazis won, we technically did, sort of, but nah.
and stay out!: done, because somehow the entire party got kicked out due to our douchebag paladin, even though there was no logical way for the barkeep to know we were all there with him.
Walking guillotine: no actually, i prefer stabby weapons.
Sticky fingers: i dont think iv'e ever actually played a class that legit steals, i mena, iv'e looted, but never, say, picked a pocket.
Nuke it from orbit: see supermutants pulped head, i dealt some 45-ish damage.
Showoff: yupp, it was me and an elven archer, killed all three spiders, the elf shot me in the ass 3 times, missed 4 times, for a total of 7 shots.
Homewrecker: bound to have happened, if only by killin one of them. Never done so intentionally.
The other red dragon: done. Several times.
Finish him: done, mass sleep is a usefull spell to have, especially if you're good with the dagger.
Nothing to see here: i think i might have bribed like 3 times total.
Do you hear the people sing. see gnomes.
cont:
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#44 to #43 - woodoo (05/08/2015) [-]
does that mean i go first: done
All the worlds a stage: we played a game where you had to roleplay, or you didnt do anything, jsut stood there drooling, sadly i can't claim to be exceptional when doing so.
Blue! no, yello: nope
You got me monologuing!: see bear-hug.
what are you, psychic?: metagaming is agaisnt the rules.
never tell me the odds: done.
Sorry about the mess: done, multiple times.
got on with it!: done, we were ordering pizza.
you either die a hero: dont use alaignments, but iv'e gone from bad to good, yes.
put the tard in tardy: nope, never done.
I volunteer as tribute: done, got a ghost blowjob out of it, pity it sucked out my soul.
Suck it, boromir: well, goblin into dwarven capital.
Your mother was a hampster: done, got him monologuing, gave him a hug.
it's jsut a fleshwound: done, lost left hand, replaced it with a dagger.
Armaments 2:9-21: well, i once had a weapon that i'd given a holy blesing, does that count?
We're on a mission from god: done, odin told us to **** **** up, we trid, but the nazis won.
oh yeah!: done, actually did the oh yeah thing as well.
avangers assemble: done, but he was dead after i got my turn.
White knighting: ... well, there was the super-mutant, but that was more a "saved a character by having sex with it", so no.
Live, damn you! tried to, but the nazis won!
Glutton for punishment: done, the trap filled the room with fog, making **** harder to see, it actually helped me signifigantly more than the enemies.
******* hippie: done, talked it down, got laid, it survived because we were ****** in the bushes when the enemy armed rolled in.
tubthumping: nope
Whose line is it anyway?: well, technically? i used an urn, he was still ALIVE, just... souless.
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#45 to #44 - woodoo (05/08/2015) [-]
stop drop and roll: done.
crikey: done, what, you think taming a bear-cybog is easy?
.000 batting avarage: nope
finesse: done, that ss officer never saw it comming.
The chewbacca defence: done, got into the dwarven capital, well, circular logic, flawed circular logic.
You know nothing jon snow: 3 literacy.
iv'e fallen and i can't get up: done, my bear fell on me, and the bear was pinned, as was i, i kept using heal on the bear, as that was the only thing i could do, and after 5 rounds, said bear managed to unpin himself, i managed to hang on to his back so that i was still mounted.
Cirque du soleil runaway: there were plenty of acrobatics checks for keeping on the back of a rampaging bear, i ended ep skinning my hands on his coarse fur though.
half the title: done
the other half: nope
it belongs in a museum: invisible dagger.
Life, uh, finds a way: done, low level campaign, lizard had 3 hp.
We spared no expense: done, mules are expensive, even if you let the stable-boy **** your ass into the hay.(yes, this actually happened)
Aint got time to bleed: nope
Does he look like a bitch. yupp, but nothing to impressive.
Not today: done
nothing personal, jsut buisness: nope
That aint falco: done
Butterifngers: done, literally, he had no arms left after i was done, ****** kept trying to stab my eyes out, so i dismembered him, and gouged HIS eyes out, and also got his tongue, im a sadistic **** , this was done in one round btw, in which i had to do an acrobatics check to even remain standing, i loved that ******* goblin.
get over here!: see above.
The cordinal sin: we split up any time we entered a town.
I shall name you yoshi: see lobotomized clockwork bear cyborg.
a wizard is never late: only when i dm.
Did i do that? well... it was my failure that caused the nazis to win, had i managed to hold them off, we MIGHT have won, but... well, lets jsut say the odds were bad for all 5 of us together, and i wasnt a combat character.
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