You're walking to the town square when you come across a trench.
Hyena: “Aaah ah ah! Ah-teh-syo! Careful of de hole-”
She has begun to dig a trench in the ground and is installing some piping.
Hyena: “Oh… s’you. You saw notheen, yhh?”
You: “Excuse me?”
You have trouble understanding her.
Hyena: “In de alley. Notheen.”
You: “See what?”
Hyena: “Das’ right. No-teen.”
Hyena: “I was jus’ standeen there. Das’ it.”
She’s gone back into the hole.
You have no idea what her deal is.
Well, it’s worth a try.
You: “Uh… bonjour.”
Hyena: “Oh… still you.”
You aren’t used to laying on the charm with women three times your weight who barely speak English. But there’s a first time for everything.
You: "Uh... bibliothèque?"
She looks confused, then points across the square to the library.
You: “Aaaallright. What’s your name?”
Hyena: “Rachel. Please. My English… oy… not good.”
You: “Your accent is pretty! Where are you from?”
Rachel: “Ay… Ayiti?”
Rachel: “Non… Hey-iti. Ou en français? Parlez-vous français? Auch... sorry… I ‘ave to dig… deh hole. Please… do not follow me.”
Rachel delves back into the trench, a pile of soil occasionally flying from it.
You don't know what to make of this hyena woman, so you walk over to the library. Sally is busy labeling books, so you look around to find Selma.
Selma: “Oh, you’re the pastry guy. I was just working on my fanfiction. How can I help you.”
You: “Fanfiction? Can I see?”
Selma: “Aaactually… you probably wouldn’t like it. No, definitely not. Hhhhey, is that a flier for the Gentlemen’s Indoor Bocce Tournament in your pocket?”
You realize that you forgot to hang up the last flier. Oh well, no big deal at the moment.
You: “Oh, yeah. Hey, do you live with that Geoff guy?”
Selma: “Oh, heh, yeah, I live with Geoff and my best friend Naz.”
You: “Oh, I… yeah, I know Naz. Anyway, I’m looking for some more up-to-date schoolbooks for Miss Angela. Also maybe a book on French if you’ve got it.”
Selma: “Oh yeah, we’ve got textbooks. Miss Angela’s starting to teach French now?”
You: “Yeah, the French book’s actually for me… hey, you sure I can’t read those stories?”
Selma: “I don’t… I don’t think you’d like them. Also don’t look at Naz’s blog. Ever. BOOKS! Let me get you those books…”
Selma gets a metal cart and stacks some textbooks onto them. She hands you a book on the French language.
Selma: “If you take that to Sally at the front desk, she’ll get you set up with a library card.”
You don’t know any anime-related jokes, and you’ve never been much of a nerd. Maybe you’ll have to learn nerd after you’re done with French. Selma will not reveal the name of the blog, so maybe you’ll have to get it from Naz later.
You go to the front desk to get your library card from Sally. She takes inventory of the books going out to the schoolhouse.
Sally: “Wow, that’s so neat that you are learning French!”
You: “Oh, heh… the language of love, right?”
Sally giggles. You try not to think of how you dry humped her mother all morning.
Sally: “Ok, you’re all ready to go! Your book is due back in two weeks, and these ones are on lend to the schoolhouse until next year.”
You thank Sally, then go to the computer lab. In there, you ask Naz if she can set up a computer at the schoolhouse.
Naz: “She wants a computer there?”
You: “Yeah, can you do that?”
Naz: “Of course. It’ll take a little bit, since I have to make sure that all of the content blocks are put in place, as per the mayor’s orders. The real question is, how can I turn this into a prank on Angela…”
You: “Content blocks?”
Naz: “Yup. Mayor Stark totally makes me put content filters on the town’s internet usage. Can’t have them visiting lewd websites.”
Naz: “Of course… I control the filters. They don’t apply to me.”
Naz: “Aaaand here we go. Easy enough.”
You: “What’d you do?”
Naz: “I wrote a script that will make the CD tray open automatically at a given interval. It’s an office prank as old as time.”
You: “Awesome. By the way, what’s the name of your blog?”
Naz: “Pronounced with an @. If Selma asks, you didn’t hear it from me.”
You: “So, can I get a peek at this blog of yours?”
Naz: “Maybe if you stop by late in the evening some day. It’s one of the few sites accessible outside the town’s network, too. Ironically it’s blocked under the mayor’s mandatory filters, along with most everything else.”
You: “Do I need to knock before I come in?”
Naz looks at you for a moment with her weird, squinty eyes.
Naz: “Only if you want to warn me that you’re coming.”
You’re curious about the disks also, but those are back at the schoolhouse.
You grab the books and go to the schoolhouse. You are beginning to feel more like a gopher than a cat, but at least you’re building good, dependable rapport with the townspeople.
You hang up the last flier and hope that these people are into bocce.