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A guide to rpg systems

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A Guide to Roleplaying Systems
Player: Can I dry the thing?
Mutants and Masterminds: Yes yen can do the thing.
Fill ent these forms in triplicate.
Dungeons and nergens: Ees, but it' s really net worth it
unless yen are a Dream Elf with the feat and at
least five levels in the Prestige class from
Templete Thing. Dr yen cerld just play a Wizard, they get
The Thing as a rrd level spell.
Call er Cthulu: Yen can do the thing, but yen REALLY den‘ t
want .
That depends, can yen ******** the GM inte believing
that ene yehr ) aspects supports yen doing
The thing?
tth Sea: Daly if the thing is properly dramatic!
but yen' ll need a bathtub full Des.
Paranoia: The thing is treason.
...
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Views: 38495
Favorited: 127
Submitted: 12/11/2015
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+140
#35 - theblargypargler (12/11/2015) [-]
Old-School D&D: You did the thing, now roll to survive all the ******* traps you set off.
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+1
#106 to #35 - randomsnail (12/12/2015) [-]
I had a player do a thing, it made the horde of kobolds that were in the dungeon run towards the front entrance and into all the ******* traps.

They then proceeded to do a combo spell and blowtorched the rest of them, 300 Kobolds killed with 3 awesome dice rolls
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+13
#71 to #35 - anon (12/12/2015) [-]
Did he get a hat at least?
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+7
User avatar #68 to #35 - leifbunny ONLINE (12/12/2015) [-]
When did that stop being a thing?
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+6
User avatar #77 to #68 - dndxplain ONLINE (12/12/2015) [-]
it hasn't. there's just a better chance of surviving.
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+6
User avatar #78 to #77 - leifbunny ONLINE (12/12/2015) [-]
Ah. I'm still running 3.5 and refuse to move any further.
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0
User avatar #79 to #78 - dndxplain ONLINE (12/12/2015) [-]
anything past second edition is cancer. play pathfinder.
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+2
User avatar #80 to #79 - leifbunny ONLINE (12/12/2015) [-]
So I've been told. I use what I know. I just know that 4 is absolute **** .
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+1
User avatar #81 to #80 - dndxplain ONLINE (12/12/2015) [-]
4 is as ******** as 3.5, which is what killed DnD for me. 5 isn't bad for newbies, but only for newbies. it's too easy a system to abuse.

pathfinder, though? it's like 3.5, but instead of magic more broken than everything else, everything's absolutely broken so it all works. it's flexible, highly customizable, and is most importantly fun still.
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#88 to #81 - anon (12/12/2015) [-]
and pathfinder has bardbarians if you use the advance class guide.
paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedClassGuide/classes/skald.html
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User avatar #103 to #79 - keltainenlumi ONLINE (12/12/2015) [-]
What goes wrong after second edition?
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User avatar #119 to #103 - dndxplain ONLINE (12/12/2015) [-]
3e: Psions
3.5: balancing as a whole.
4: it's fourth edition. t
5: it's fun, for newbies. it's too easily abusable though.
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+86
#5 - anon (12/11/2015) [-]
Only War: Yes, but I sure hope you'll be doing the thing from inside your Baneblade while five miles away from the battlefield if you want to survive it.

FATAL: Yes, but you have to roll for anal circumference first.
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+1
#115 to #5 - zmranger (12/12/2015) [-]
**zmranger used "*roll 1, 1-20*"**
**zmranger rolls 10**
OP's anal circumference.
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0
#129 to #115 - zmranger (12/12/2015) [-]
..in inches.
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+4
#54 to #5 - anon (12/12/2015) [-]
**Basic Role Play* Yes, as long as you can explain how your character knows how to do it in this setting and roll under your skill.
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+9
#36 to #5 - anon (12/11/2015) [-]
FATAL is cancer of the highest degree.
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+3
User avatar #63 to #36 - xxhadesflamesxx (12/12/2015) [-]
You also need to know advanced math to make a character and the book is around 1000 pages long if I remember right
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+46
User avatar #6 - memeem ONLINE (12/11/2015) [-]
Weapons of the gods: **** YEAH YOU CAN WHILE FLYING TOO!
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0
User avatar #9 to #6 - pennydragon ONLINE (12/11/2015) [-]
While your buddy falls asleep for bonus experience and that one guy waxes on melodramatically to level up.

While the lore nerd argues about the morality of blowing it all up with the token villain protagonist who is wielding the sword of blow up anything even cities or mountains.
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+37
User avatar #20 - nemecyst (12/11/2015) [-]
I'm excited

I just talked my DM into doing a betrayal story

Concept:
>I'm going to roll a rogue, specifics not important
>at level 4 I'm going to start finding some "artificats" my character will keep secret from the others
>at level 5 my character will be killed and replaced by a doppleganger
>We go through the rest of the story, during which time I will use the artifacts to explain my doppleganger abilities
>Once they think everything is done I will reveal my true identity and summon a BBEG to try and wipe my own party.
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+1
#89 to #20 - applescryatnight ONLINE (12/12/2015) [-]
80% chance your group is gonna get butthurt tbh fam.
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+5
User avatar #94 to #89 - nemecyst (12/12/2015) [-]
We're a pretty close-knit group, so I doubt it. DM is dating token girl, I've known one of the guys since we were both in elementary school (so about 15 years), and then our token minority is laid back as **** .

What I'm expecting is a collective "YOU SON OF A BITCH" from everyone while the DM and I are off cackling in a corner. He and I have beeen working it out and how it's gonna work is I'm going to play without the doppleganger-only abilities, but all my rolls will have the doppleganger bonuses added on to them by the dm. So my disguises will get a +4 behind the scenes without the rest of my group knowing and them just thinking the people were easy to fool/I'm a rogue.

And my DM wants to keep me in the dark about the entire story except for what is absolutely essential for me to know, so it should be fun
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+2
User avatar #100 to #94 - basalm (12/12/2015) [-]
*You stand at a dark stone corridor.
*The only way to progress is to walk through.
*You rolled a 1*
*You trip and fall onto a pressure plate*
*The ceiling smashes you, some Mortal Kombat type **** *
*Plan ruined*
*The DM is sobbing on the inside.
But rlly tho wood be gr8 if you got ****** immediately.
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0
#128 to #94 - applescryatnight ONLINE (12/12/2015) [-]
hey your group sounds a lot like mine.
GM dating token girl, token minority is super chill, and ive known all of them since high school.
Still, i hope it isnt 100% out of the blue, those sorts of things need to be done well or they turn into the "what the **** man" type of thing
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0
User avatar #107 to #94 - ilikehawtsecs (12/12/2015) [-]
My girlfriend did something like that back in her first year at university.
She and her sister joined some kind of D&D club at her school and, being a newbie at the time, they showed her the ropes. Apparently, one day just as they were completing a quest/story, she simply decided to team up with her sister to wipe the rest of their party in order to keep the reward for themselves (just for ***** n giggles), and succeeded in doing so.

She tells me that many butts were hurt, and the people of the club don't play with them anymore.
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User avatar #127 to #107 - nemecyst (12/12/2015) [-]
Yeah, the main difference between that and what I'm doing is its part of the actual story, they'll just think its done, then boom end boss.
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+15
User avatar #66 to #20 - xxhadesflamesxx (12/12/2015) [-]
That's either going to go very well or very poorly
Good luck with it though
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+158
#2 - whompers (12/11/2015) [-]
Shia: JUST DO IT!
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+3
User avatar #59 to #2 - mutantunicorn ONLINE (12/12/2015) [-]
do the thing. -warric
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+3
#104 to #2 - jdizzleoffthehizzl (12/12/2015) [-]
What about Sunni?
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+5
User avatar #22 to #2 - joekooldash ONLINE (12/11/2015) [-]
actual cannibal shia lebouffe
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+8
User avatar #43 to #22 - Zeigh (12/11/2015) [-]
"Shia LaBeouf" Live - Rob Cantor
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+21
#60 - fennoswede (12/12/2015) [-]
A guide to roleplaying games.

Player: Can i do it?

Dark Heresy: Yes, but too late you realize that you do not have the rank "Known" in the skill, so you fail by 7 degrees, gains Xd10 insanity points, and now your character is singing bedtime stories to his knives

Only war: Yes, so you ready your missile launcher and takes a brace half action and fire, the missilelauncher misfires and EXPLODES! killing/crippling your entire team

Black Crusade:Yes, now roll for willpower! OH NO My character is turning into a spa-WArgblblbbiuaspoejgea'j'aorhjkgj!!!!!

Deathwatch:Yes, with your Godly toughness and power armor and all the traits you get as an angel of death you do it! Until your ultramarine squad mate gets all bitchy because he is not squad leader, your IronHand devastator refuses to go to battle because his ******* knife is not of best craftmanship and your Flesh Tearer assault marine can not stop himself from beating in the faces on friends and foes alike

Rouge Trader: Yes, so your teams Ork mekaniak gets to work in his workshop, soon he emerges and it seems like he bulit a bomb out of some tape, a stick and a mouldy garlic, it goes of and you die. Not wanting some good meat go to waste your kroot teammate start to gnaw on your bones
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+1
#135 to #60 - Zachere (12/13/2015) [-]
EVERY system can gain a lot from some small adjustments here and there
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+3
#86 to #60 - swbite (12/12/2015) [-]
seems about right
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+34
User avatar #24 - muffincannibal ONLINE (12/11/2015) [-]
Can I do the thing in Fallout 4? 1. Yes 2. Sarcastic 3. Yes .4 Yes
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0
User avatar #99 to #24 - thefirespike (12/12/2015) [-]
yes, it just works
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+9
User avatar #42 to #24 - gowfan (12/11/2015) [-]
1. Yes. 2. Sarcastic 3. Yes? 4. Yah.
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+4
User avatar #44 to #42 - muffincannibal ONLINE (12/11/2015) [-]
Yes.
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+2
#72 to #42 - Kingsly (12/12/2015) [-]
1. Yes 2. Sarcastic 3. Yes? 4. Yeah, later.
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+14
#13 - irishlawyer (12/11/2015) [-]
I'm gonna be that guy, and say that the D&D one is more about Pathfinder
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#19 to #13 - alarubra has deleted their comment [-]
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User avatar #90 to #13 - shunkahawolf (12/12/2015) [-]
playing both 5E and pathfinder now and i can agree with that. ******* wizards man. i cant wait till my sorcerer gets his draconic traits in a few levels.

also on a side note, is it normal for a cleric to out DPS a paladin and a barbarian in D&D or am i just getting really lucky with my rolls?
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#96 to #90 - irishlawyer (12/12/2015) [-]
You're talking about 5e, right?
If you are, then it would depend on what domain you're using
If you're using Trickery, War, or Tempest, then probably
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0
User avatar #125 to #96 - shunkahawolf (12/12/2015) [-]
life domain
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0
#130 to #125 - irishlawyer (12/12/2015) [-]
I guess it would depend on the spells you're using, but yeah, rolls definitely take part of it.
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+2
#49 to #13 - alexanderh ONLINE (12/12/2015) [-]
Yeah, not really valid in 5th edition anymore.
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+9
User avatar #18 to #13 - alarubra ONLINE (12/11/2015) [-]
It's more about 3.x D&D, which Pathfinder is based on.
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+10
#7 - kyoun (12/11/2015) [-]
It's treason, then.
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+1
User avatar #11 to #7 - Einsty (12/11/2015) [-]
It's too quiet. Had to turn my volume way up. Tis a ruse
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+8
User avatar #52 - thelastamerican (12/12/2015) [-]
Dark Heresy: Purge the thing.
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+6
#58 - masterofantics (12/12/2015) [-]
I have no idea what all this means.
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0
User avatar #108 to #58 - ludislavonac (12/12/2015) [-]
It's pen and paper/boardgame rpgs and this is a parody of their rules
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+1
#85 to #58 - anon (12/12/2015) [-]
Okay, to elaborate.
Each of the examples in the content represent different roleplay systems,
and all of them have different rules or settings which heavily influence what
players can and cannot do, and how they can go about doing them.
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+16
User avatar #38 - hudis ONLINE (12/11/2015) [-]
Fallout 4: NO! SHUT UP! You're looking for your son Shaun! Stop thinking about other things!
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0
User avatar #51 to #38 - daniboyi ONLINE (12/12/2015) [-]
Skyrim: Only if you grind enough to be able to do the thing.
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0
User avatar #109 to #51 - tanitakavirius (12/12/2015) [-]
Skyrim: There is probably a mod for it. If you're on console: No.
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+3
User avatar #45 to #38 - zomaru (12/12/2015) [-]
People say its forced
But I forgot about it for days until I sorta ran across the right people on accident.
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+1
User avatar #83 to #45 - malhaloc ONLINE (12/12/2015) [-]
The main story isn't really forced. It's just that the game doesn't really reward you for not doing it like in every other Bethesda game. This is the first one I've seen where if you're not doing a quest line, you're not doing anything. At least that's been my experience. In Skyrim, Oblivion, Fallout 3 and New Vegas, you can pretty much just go and do your own thing. Get gear, level up, talk to entertaining characters. But this one seems like it wants you to play a certain way and if you don't then you're not going to get much out of it.
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+5
User avatar #62 - asotil (12/12/2015) [-]
F.A.T.A.L: Roll 1D20, divide it by the square root of 476. If it can be made into a triangle, find C, then multiply it by your skill over pi, and plot it on this grid. That is your anus' "prepared" circumference, anything past that is painful for your character. Now, roll 12 D33, add up the numbers to the 11th power, and divide by pi (22 over 7 for this one and this one only). Stop once you have a whole number greater than 1 but less than 23. That is the length of the thing that will have at your anus should you fail. Now, flip a coin to see if you do the thing
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+5
#12 - elementfall (12/11/2015) [-]
That Shadowrun one is totally true
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+2
#14 to #12 - anticitezenone ONLINE (12/11/2015) [-]
>Fresh outta chargen
>Have 4 actions with 12d6
>The rest are 7d6
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+4
User avatar #33 to #12 - schneidend ONLINE (12/11/2015) [-]
Runner: I shoot him with my shotgun!
DM: *Rolls eyes and gets out three separate tables.*
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+4
User avatar #74 - dungledoo (12/12/2015) [-]
Pathfinder: "can I do the thing?"
*DM starts rolling d10's* "How much health do you have left?"
"Wait wh"
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+2
#69 - avocadomessiah (12/12/2015) [-]
WoW: the thing you're about to do is OP. heck, your character is OP. you should tone it down a little; i mean you didn't even develop your character to that sort of power, did you? here's some good advice on how to work your character towards doing the thing

player: stop criticizing me, asshole
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+4
User avatar #75 to #69 - kiaserzerg (12/12/2015) [-]
WoW: you can do the thing, but we're gonna nerf you doing the thing cause other people cant do the thing"
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+4
User avatar #67 - zombiecreeper (12/12/2015) [-]
You're forgetting FATAL.

ROLL FOR ANAL CIRCUMFERENCE!
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+2
User avatar #31 - schneidend ONLINE (12/11/2015) [-]
Star Wars Saga Edition: Are you trained in the Use the Force Skill?

Alternatively...

SWSE: Did you take the one talent that literally says you can do the thing you ******* normie?!
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0
User avatar #93 to #31 - asthmetheus (12/12/2015) [-]
I seemed to join a pretty enjoyable party that knew what it was doing, I got to rip apart alot of things with my fists.
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0
User avatar #101 to #93 - schneidend ONLINE (12/12/2015) [-]
Oh yeah, I love SWSE, but it does have its odd little bits. It's great that the skills, feats, and talents basically cover everything you could ever want to do as long as you're drawing from all of the books, but the trouble is a player may not qualify for them, and so it does encourage you to say no a lot as a GM, because saying yes might devalue those feats, talents, and skill trainings.

And, yeah, making fist fighters in the space-monk-wizard future-past is great. My campaign had a player roll a trandoshan mercenary rolling such high damage I couldn't justify not describing him punching peoples' faces_ in_ and their heads_ off._ Most other scum in the galaxy started to think he was a tiny krayt dragon.
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+2
#15 - dublkros (12/11/2015) [-]
what about FATAL?
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+1
User avatar #120 - regularorange ONLINE (12/12/2015) [-]
**Munchkin* Yes, but player B has cursed you so you will probably die
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+1
#121 to #120 - jiichei (12/12/2015) [-]
munchkin is the best. I don't care about winning in it, I only care about ruining the game for everyone.
my ex-boyfriend and his family played munchkin with me. he was winning, and then I threw wandering monster with plutonium dragon at him (seriously though, isnt that the luckiest combo to have!?). he rised up from the table and went to his room. he didn't talk to me the entire day, and when he did he complained and bitched. ******* faggot, that's why I left him. and some other stuff too tbh. but anyways, who the **** takes a board game that seriously? I know he would've done the same for me so what the heck.
munchkin ruins relationships. I love it.
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+1
User avatar #122 to #121 - regularorange ONLINE (12/12/2015) [-]
Everytime I play it with my brothers we fall out
******* gold
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+1
User avatar #123 to #122 - jiichei (12/12/2015) [-]
I just love the humor in it. I love the rules for being simple enough to pick up and play, but still it manages to be strategic. we often use the "cheating allowed if you don't get caught" -rule. any cheating is allowed, but if others notice that you cheated, you will die.
for some reason people don't want to play munchkin with me anymore... strange.
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+1
#124 to #123 - regularorange ONLINE (12/12/2015) [-]
Aye, I know that feel
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