A DnD story of mine
Okay users of Funnyjunk, I have a story for you.
>Be me plying DnD with some people
>I'm a Half-Orc Fighter, alignment Chaotic Evil
>With A Draconian Fighter, Human Mage, Human Sorcerer, Dwarf Barbarian, and Human Fighter, and a NPC
>All of them have Lawful Neutral Alignment or better
>We hear something on a path near us
>Mage stealthily goes to investigate (No rogue, he had the highest Dex)
>3 Goblins, one is half dead, one has burn marks on the face, last one is scraped up but fine
>Not really doing anything but wandering
>Mage comes back and tells us
>Confusion at table, the phrase "eating people" gets thrown about, GM says nothing
>Decide to attack
>Me, Draconian, and Sorcerer go to attack while the others wait as back-up
>Draconian pulls out a bow, Sorcerer readies a firebolt, I take out a throwing axe
>Draconian goes shoots the scraped up one, Sorcerer fires at the already burnt one, I throw a handaxe at the near death one
>Draconian gets a fair hit in the chest but doesn't kill
>Sorcerer gets a good hit, sends the burnt one flying 10 feet and sets it on fire, but it doesn't die and just flails trying to put itself out
>I get a nat 20 to hit, I roll triple for damage
>Roll 7 but ability gives it a +2
>GM says "A 27 on an already injured Goblin... *pause* alright"
>My axe splits its head in 2, literally
>Goblin with arrow goes to "wake up" the goblin who's head i just split in two
>Burning goblin still screaming
>GM decides to let us know they were actually Lawful Good Goblins
>Draconian and Sorcerer stop attacking and their eyes widen at the horrors they just commited
>Me, being evil and having low intelligence and wisdom continues to attack
>Go to arrow goblin and grab his head with both hands
>Decide to try to look cool and crush it's skull
>Fail, but still have it's head in my hands
>Tries to stab me but misses
>Fighter Human, seeing they're good tries to pull me away from the goblin
>Gets a grip, but fails to pull me away and I shrug him off
>Mage tries to as well but can't get a grip
>Dwarf tries to run up to me but botches his roll with a 3 and runs past me into a tree
>Draconian, seeing that pulling me way isn't working tries to take the goblin from me
>My strength is too high and he forgot arm day so I still have goblin
>Roll highest initiative
>Table is begging me to put the goblin down
>Ignore them, roll to kick his crotch
>Nat 20
>GM doesn't even have me roll damage
>GM says "You kick him with such a force that his scrotum goes into his skull, his pelvis is shattered into bits, his lower spine is completely destroyed and the will to live leaves his body"
>Mage goes back to path we came from to think about what just happened
>Everybody else runs to the burning goblin who just managed to put herself out
>Draconian pats her on the shoulder and everybody else joins him to form themselves into a "wall" to protect her
>My turn comes again
>No party member has told me to stop in the game
>Decide to throw the dead goblin in my hands at her
>Botch my roll and he goes into a tree behind her
>Turns out they were a family out on a camping trip that went bad
>They let her go
>Go to loot the split head goblin but his sister took him to give him a "semi proper burial and not in some tree like her other brother" as described by the GM
>All the Good characters are mortified at what just occurred
>NPC says "I have bore witness to many a horror in my days, including my own wife and daughter being kidnapped, but nothing will ever compare to what just happened back there, and it will haunt me for the rest of my days."
>I'm not at fault because no one told me to stop and I'm an idiot
>Somebody still has yet to tell me it was wrong
>Ask good characters why so sad when we just had a glorious victory over the goblins
>They all ignore me
>GM says "Well, you can be sure that goblin is going to train and come back to get revenge for her slaughtered family"
>Tell everyone we should have killed her too
>They all hate me
>Doesn't matter, not at fault
>Be me plying DnD with some people
>I'm a Half-Orc Fighter, alignment Chaotic Evil
>With A Draconian Fighter, Human Mage, Human Sorcerer, Dwarf Barbarian, and Human Fighter, and a NPC
>All of them have Lawful Neutral Alignment or better
>We hear something on a path near us
>Mage stealthily goes to investigate (No rogue, he had the highest Dex)
>3 Goblins, one is half dead, one has burn marks on the face, last one is scraped up but fine
>Not really doing anything but wandering
>Mage comes back and tells us
>Confusion at table, the phrase "eating people" gets thrown about, GM says nothing
>Decide to attack
>Me, Draconian, and Sorcerer go to attack while the others wait as back-up
>Draconian pulls out a bow, Sorcerer readies a firebolt, I take out a throwing axe
>Draconian goes shoots the scraped up one, Sorcerer fires at the already burnt one, I throw a handaxe at the near death one
>Draconian gets a fair hit in the chest but doesn't kill
>Sorcerer gets a good hit, sends the burnt one flying 10 feet and sets it on fire, but it doesn't die and just flails trying to put itself out
>I get a nat 20 to hit, I roll triple for damage
>Roll 7 but ability gives it a +2
>GM says "A 27 on an already injured Goblin... *pause* alright"
>My axe splits its head in 2, literally
>Goblin with arrow goes to "wake up" the goblin who's head i just split in two
>Burning goblin still screaming
>GM decides to let us know they were actually Lawful Good Goblins
>Draconian and Sorcerer stop attacking and their eyes widen at the horrors they just commited
>Me, being evil and having low intelligence and wisdom continues to attack
>Go to arrow goblin and grab his head with both hands
>Decide to try to look cool and crush it's skull
>Fail, but still have it's head in my hands
>Tries to stab me but misses
>Fighter Human, seeing they're good tries to pull me away from the goblin
>Gets a grip, but fails to pull me away and I shrug him off
>Mage tries to as well but can't get a grip
>Dwarf tries to run up to me but botches his roll with a 3 and runs past me into a tree
>Draconian, seeing that pulling me way isn't working tries to take the goblin from me
>My strength is too high and he forgot arm day so I still have goblin
>Roll highest initiative
>Table is begging me to put the goblin down
>Ignore them, roll to kick his crotch
>Nat 20
>GM doesn't even have me roll damage
>GM says "You kick him with such a force that his scrotum goes into his skull, his pelvis is shattered into bits, his lower spine is completely destroyed and the will to live leaves his body"
>Mage goes back to path we came from to think about what just happened
>Everybody else runs to the burning goblin who just managed to put herself out
>Draconian pats her on the shoulder and everybody else joins him to form themselves into a "wall" to protect her
>My turn comes again
>No party member has told me to stop in the game
>Decide to throw the dead goblin in my hands at her
>Botch my roll and he goes into a tree behind her
>Turns out they were a family out on a camping trip that went bad
>They let her go
>Go to loot the split head goblin but his sister took him to give him a "semi proper burial and not in some tree like her other brother" as described by the GM
>All the Good characters are mortified at what just occurred
>NPC says "I have bore witness to many a horror in my days, including my own wife and daughter being kidnapped, but nothing will ever compare to what just happened back there, and it will haunt me for the rest of my days."
>I'm not at fault because no one told me to stop and I'm an idiot
>Somebody still has yet to tell me it was wrong
>Ask good characters why so sad when we just had a glorious victory over the goblins
>They all ignore me
>GM says "Well, you can be sure that goblin is going to train and come back to get revenge for her slaughtered family"
>Tell everyone we should have killed her too
>They all hate me
>Doesn't matter, not at fault
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