My Commander was in the U.S. Navy, and this was a story he told me after I graduated high school:
"We were in the barracks, and boys being boys, we were in there wrestling, when we really weren't supposed to.
Well, I got into it with this guy, and he ended up bringing his knee up and hit me right in the eye. I ended up with a huge shiner.. Well we had formation that evening, and there I was, seaman scruffy, standing at attention with this huge shiner. The head officer was doing rounds, up and down the ranks, checking for hair cuts, shaves, etc. He comes up to me, does a right face, and looks me right in the face. He asks me 'What in the hell happened to you?'. Knowing I couldn't tell him that we were wrestling, I said 'I was beating my meat and my hand slipped, sir!' And that's all it took. He kept his mean mug for a second, but turned around and started bursting out laughing. Once he regained his professional face, he turned right back around, looked me in the face, I was still standing up straight, looking forward, and he couldn't do it. He ended up laughing all the way down the ranks."