4chinese. I´m not funny so i post other people´s work. spread american sonly vete republican because snessy slave misgovernment disability benefits because sf o
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4chinese

I´m not funny so i post other people´s work

spread american
sonly vete republican
because
snessy
slave misgovernment disability benefits because sf obesity
sbe
rumbling, haven' t eaten in 20 minutes
sshould gs to mcdonalds, just started serving lunch
strate get inte minivan with assistance lift
clift collapses due to excess weight
ifall out onto driveway
scala 911
s" siree longer have ambulances because sf obamacare. we can' t help you"
ddamn you obama
struck in driveway, cant get inte wheelchair
turn inte minutes, i' m getting hungrier and hungrier
can feel my stomach starting to digest itself
seeing mad with hunger
pull out my gun, and start firing in the wirte get attention
ssomeone hears and calls ceps
tthey arrive to my house 30 minutes later, put me back inte wheelchair
seeps mad as **** "sirree are not allowed to discharge a firearm in a residential area"
remind them that this is america and i have the freedom to fire a gun wherever and whenever i please
tthey place me under arrest because they dent know anything about my freedoms
wont fit en my wrists
scan' t fit inte police car
tthey have to call special geriatric handling police unit
tthey place en me en modified flatbed truck and bring me to police station
spat inte cell that can accomadate sameone with my needs
Mold i will be booked shortly
sne feed being brought
sat this point i' m absolutely starved, my vision is becoming blurry and my extremities are going numb
scream "THIS IS AMERICA AND I DEMAND TC) BE BROUGHT ) RIGHT NDW"
sene guard knows hew america works and asks me what i want mcdonalds
order E big macs with pickles, 3 supersize hies, A apple pies and at least 2 gallons eddied coke
squard semes back 30 minutes later
stee even scream at him forsaking SC) long
scrab bags and rifle through them frantically looking fer big macs
secund ene
Aspen it
sit has pickles en it
...

Comments(143):

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#1 - opisme (04/27/2014) [+] (2 replies)
If only this was the case. 4/26 never forget
#20 - anonymous (04/27/2014) [+] (11 replies)
>live in cali
> generally votes over 60% democrat in pres elections
>more than half of residents on some sort of financial aid
>state is billions in debt
> schools that have banned american flags because it offends mexican students
>community college price is skyrocketing because 71%(in my school) receive financial aid (not loans)
>have to carry a weapon if i plan on staying in LA past 5 (im white)
>my unemployed uncle and his girlfriend have a larger food budget than my family does with both parents working
>constantly here liberals complain about republicans and how liberal policies are the best thing that can happen to this country
#17 - redstag (04/27/2014) [+] (7 replies)
Okay so I'm a middle of the fence guy, as far as politics go. I believe that a gay married couple should have the right to own high capacity magazines for there guns to protect their field of marijuana plants and their transgender kid But my conservative side is slightly offended by this.
#25 - coonseth (04/27/2014) [-]
"one guard knows how america works"
User avatar #28 - MrSunday (04/27/2014) [+] (7 replies)
> republican
> living off of government disability

right.
#45 - adaaayyymmm (04/27/2014) [+] (5 replies)
my Grandma is extremely racist and hates Obama. This is what i got her for her birthday.
#74 - freedombirdman (04/27/2014) [+] (1 reply)
I can enjoy self depreciating humor, but save for the very last bit I didn't really see any actual humor, just more 'Americans are fat' bandwagoning. If you're going to make fun of a nation at least do it right.

Also, this is clearly inaccurate, Americans love pickles.
#57 - yoloswagfourtwinty (04/27/2014) [+] (1 reply)
I HATE ze pickles!
#84 - anonymous (04/27/2014) [+] (8 replies)
I'm sorry that you think Obamacare is a bad thing. Because it's supposed to keep poor people alive.
#43 - Gewdaism (04/27/2014) [+] (18 replies)
Southerners are the biggest ******* welfare queens there are
#54 to #43 - anonymous (04/27/2014) [-]
no way commifornia only has .79 cents.
User avatar #119 - andenz (04/27/2014) [+] (5 replies)
Isn't obamacare basically free healthcare like in europe? That is how I have come to understand it atleast.

Why is that bad...?
User avatar #129 to #119 - izzygirl (04/27/2014) [-]
All Obamacare is doing right now is making people pay more for health insurance they already had, while giving them less coverage.

Imagine this: there are several cellphone companies, but the government passes a law that everyone has to have a cellphone or they'll be fined.
All the people in the lower class now have to get cellphones and cellphone plans, even if they can't afford it.
Taxes are increased on the middle class to accommodate for the lower class, but it isn't enough.
So to keep profits, the cellphone companies increase the costs for their plans, while taking away certain services like unlimited calling on weekends.
Now everyone has ****** cell phone service except people in the upper class.

This is essentially what Obamacare is doing to health insurance.
User avatar #110 - ecowolfrb (04/27/2014) [+] (3 replies)
>only vote republican
>live off government disability
wat
#126 - ifourme (04/27/2014) [-]
op's face when
User avatar #34 - samoaspider ONLINE (04/27/2014) [+] (5 replies)
Is the % of people who hate pickles really that high?
#14 - kristofe ONLINE (04/27/2014) [+] (6 replies)
i just moved to germany from arkansas it is in the south were we are supposed to have a lot of fat people but i have seen more things for fat people and for people to be lazy here than any were i have been in the states
User avatar #87 - freebrainsforall (04/27/2014) [-]
+1 for honest description
User avatar #26 - alexrider (04/27/2014) [+] (2 replies)
I hate to say it, but does someone somewhere have the gif of the extremely fat woman being pulled up but her fat just kinda sloshes around behind her?
User avatar #33 to #26 - anonemous (04/27/2014) [-]
my god I hope not
#131 - latinotornado (04/27/2014) [+] (3 replies)
alright alright i'm an american and I laugh at American jokes like the muh freedoms jokes and all that. However, the only thing I thought was funny was the wwjd part, the rest was so pants on head retarded that it didn't even make enough sense to be funny. Example: OP is supposed to be a proud republican voter but lives off of government welfare checks? whut? All this story does is tell one giant fat guy story.
#83 - grimmwaters ONLINE (04/27/2014) [-]
Thanks America!
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