A Genuine Sentiment from
Fairest of afternoons, my Funnyjunk brethren. I spam this
message Theatrically accross the site sans remorse in
order to further my agenda: rid this glorious site of beta
As an alpha who slams peen often and falls
into success, the whining loser virgin shit brings my blood
to a boil:
oh why doesnt the girl at school like me? I' m so very
nice, blah blah blah"
oh why am I not gainfully employed I am very smart and
slothful, withdrawn, waifu spooning, perverted
writing, virginal, agoraphobic, pieces of fuck. I fucking
hate you so much. Your constant need for Internet pity has
made the site a shadow of its former self. You whined so
relentlessly ever the girl you stalked not wanting you, even
though you want to plow her just as bad as the "alpha" she
ended up with wants to. Even though yew desire for her is
mostly sexual and not in anyway related to personality
compatibility. Even though you imbibe Doritos and candy
and quaff soda by the gallon and sit en yew gelatinous
duff and dont ever' greem yew self er work on fixing yew
eccentricities er personality quirks, then are inexplicably
are bewildered when Women arent lining up to perform
fellatio for you.
You whined and bitched so often about "friendzoning" and
other shit so often that all the great uploaders left the
site en masse and never' returned. And the sad part is none
of you sad betas is inherently unlikable, er undateable, er
uncharismatic, and 90% of you arent even ugly.
You are how you are because you would rather be sad sacks
of fuck than try to be decent and fall short. And there is
no haner in that.
You deserve to be a sad fucking virgin forever, en the
internet all day, trying to fill an empty void in yew soul.
The only obstacle in yew life is YOU, you cockstain en
society. You are not welcome here. This site shouldn' t be a
If you want to help me in my quest to cleanse this site of
betas forever, change yew avatar to Costas Mandylor to
show loyalty to the cause, and help me spread the message.
Alphas run most of the world already and when we cemo
together' the betas will get all feemee and sad and will
leave: Only then can we return to former glory of yore.
Only then will we be able to enjoy the site without self-
pitying, feeble, basement dwelling cunts siphoning off
pretension to their sad, lonely existences.
Ubertroll, Famous User, Master of Veg, IRL rrd year' Law
Student At Yale.