26. All Men Must Die. . 25 Man Secrets That All Men Should Be Aware Of. Knowing These Will Save You A Lot Of Trouble In Life. 1. are better than boxers or brief
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26. All Men Must Die

25 Man Secrets That All Men Should
Be Aware Of. Knowing These Will
Save You A Lot Of Trouble In Life.
1. are better than boxers or
briefs.
2. A steak needs to rest after it comes off the
heat for a few minutes before you cut into it
for maximum flavor.
3. You can use a rubber band to pull out a
stripped screw by placing it the
screw and your screwdriver/ drill.
4. Confidence is the f** king key to
everything. It is also the key to f** king
everything.
s. Keeping your fingernails neat and trimmed
is a sign of sexual intelligence.
6, A sane 6 is better than a crazy 9.
I Don' t go to the grocery store hungry.
3. You know that cream that removes leg
hair for women? Don' t use that on your balls.
Just don' t.
9, Keep a sweater in your car. Your
wife/ girlfriend/ date will be cold at some point
in time.
IO. She isn' t always right. She will appreciate
you sticking up for yourself. Just don' t be a
dick about it.
11. Use for wiping. Your life will
change.
12. Shower beer. Do it, your life will change.
13. Putting Rogaine on your face every day for
a month will not make your beard grow in
will just give you horrible
acne.
14. The majority of the time, a woman doesn' t
want you to solve her problems when venting
to you. Rather she just wants you to listen to
said problems/ issues.
15. When shaving your Adam' s apple (hi I' m
Adam by the way), in order to not cut yourself
swallow and hold to make it "flatten.
16. Treat women like people. Too many guys
talk to girls as if they' re goddamn alien race.
17. Beards don' t make you hot in the summer.
They make you cool.
18. Don' t touch your genitals after cutting
jalapenos. Seriously.
19. Gay men do not automatically fancy you,
just because they are gay.
20. You have to wash everywhere. Including
where the sun doesn' t shine.
21. Eighty tighty, lefty loosey.
22. Compliment a woman on her shoes. It
does wonders.
23. If you have a job interview, drive the route
to the building the day before, that way you' re
comfortable with the route and you wont be
searching for the building stressed out.
24. keep hidden in your wallet. this is for
emergencies only. not "
emergencies, but
emergencies.
25. You don' t have to get married, even
though it seems like that is all everyone is
talking about.
...
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Views: 60448
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Submitted: 04/06/2014
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Comments(544):

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#110 - blazefox (04/06/2014) [+] (25 replies)
I hate when I'm with friends and someone says "hey, you know (me) is gay right, and then boom, they treat me different and act like i want to rape them or something, it's fucking annoying.
User avatar #117 to #110 - guiguito (04/06/2014) [-]
haha faggot
User avatar #7 - sandynipples (04/06/2014) [+] (22 replies)
What the fuck.
Don't compliment shoes.
Body compliments are vastly more appreciated.
User avatar #9 to #7 - eshaythewolf (04/06/2014) [-]
Actually, body compliments come across as lewd/creepy unless they involve the eyes or hair and usually they make girls uncomfortable. That is, if you're not already intimate with them.

Complimenting her clothing is complimenting her mind, in a way, as she has chosen to put those clothes together and your compliment will imply that she made a good decision.

Rule of thumb: Is she your girlfriend?
Yes: Compliment her body, go for it.
No: Compliment her clothes.
#16 - tripscausedthis ONLINE (04/06/2014) [+] (16 replies)
THIS
#1 - danjazown ONLINE (04/06/2014) [+] (1 reply)
+124
#12 - testaburger has deleted their comment [+] (16 replies)
#4 - leobreacker (04/06/2014) [+] (6 replies)
I pressed next, then in the last second of leaving this page I saw the title.   
   
va̠̤ļar̘̪͎͎̕ ̪d̥͢o̪̠h̟̠̱a̗͎ḙr͈̮̪̦̯ì̤̯s̯͞, child.
I pressed next, then in the last second of leaving this page I saw the title.

va̠̤ļar̘̪͎͎̕ ̪d̥͢o̪̠h̟̠̱a̗͎ḙr͈̮̪̦̯ì̤̯s̯͞, child.
#175 - Just Another Guy (04/06/2014) [+] (13 replies)
#12

Just finding ways to avoid doing my uni work haha
#86 - jdizzleoffthehizzl (04/06/2014) [+] (3 replies)
My underwear will always be my own personal preference you dick
#279 - fromthepresent (04/06/2014) [+] (3 replies)
> Be hungry
> All out of food
> Can't buy food due to rule #7
> Die of starvation
User avatar #104 - LocoJoe (04/06/2014) [+] (6 replies)
Learn to fire a gun and sharpen a knife.

"But those evil babby killers are dangerous! Obama said so!"

Shut up and learn. It'll save you in the long run.
User avatar #124 to #104 - DrPeppir ONLINE (04/06/2014) [-]
Its better if you know how to sharpen a gun and fire a knife. Just sayin.
#40 - graknab (04/06/2014) [+] (7 replies)
what the fuck is showering beer?
what the fuck is showering beer?
#281 - batmanexplain (04/06/2014) [+] (5 replies)
Can somebody explain #12?    shower beer?
Can somebody explain #12? shower beer?
User avatar #283 to #281 - Schofield (04/06/2014) [-]
Take a shower while drinking a cold beer.
Don't shower in beer, I've tried
User avatar #159 - jakuhlope ONLINE (04/06/2014) [+] (7 replies)
"I like your shoes."
"Oh yeah? What do you like about them?"
"Eh...I..."
#267 - mrmamric (04/06/2014) [+] (4 replies)
What the fuck does sexual intelligence mean? Do women see a man's nails and go, "yeah, that guy knows how to fuck and can get a +4 on INT rolls"?
#2 - anonymous (04/06/2014) [+] (5 replies)
I don't like alcohol. Wat do?
#23 to #2 - feragon (04/06/2014) [-]
buy a good beer, it will be life changing
User avatar #386 - thebritishguy (04/06/2014) [+] (5 replies)
I share my asshole because it makes it easier to wipe my ass as shit doesn't get stuck in the hair, I feel like a princess right after I do it.
#391 to #386 - chaost (04/06/2014) [-]
with whom do you share it?
#36 - dubh (04/06/2014) [+] (6 replies)
I don't get number 21. Explain this one for me, good denizens of funnyjunk.
User avatar #38 to #36 - bopeepssheep (04/06/2014) [-]
really?
haha

when screwing on/off a lid to something, tightening something, a valve, etc, clockwise tightens and counterclockwise loosens
#343 - supermandan (04/06/2014) [-]
I know a guy (caucasian) who used Nair on his balls once.
Burned him so bad that now they're brown.
#208 - iFail (04/06/2014) [+] (4 replies)
5.) Keeping your fingernails trimmed short is a sign of sexual intelligence.A greentext for anybody who needs proof of this.
>Be 16
>Late night walks with girl I've liked for a while
>Hug goodbye about 11pm, winter time
>Feel her push into me
>Push into her
>Groin rubbing
>itson.jpg
>We start to use hands
>Being a man, I slip my hand down her leggings and feel her through her panties, she's soaking, so I just move in soon enough
>We move into a lane off the public path for a bit of privacy and i go back down
>Had no idea what I was doing, so i slid my fingers in
>Looking for where I think that pesky little "g-spot" bastard hides. Think I've found it because she's getting louder
>She tenses up as i bring my fingers down then up, causing them to go in much rougher than intended
>She lets out a small moan/scream
>"You ok?"
>"Yeah, keep going"
>Finger her whilst she wanks me off then eventually go home
>Get home and my dogs give their usual greeting
>They keep sniffing my hands, i keep trying to push them away
>Take a look and see my fingers are covered in blood
>MFW I hadn't cut my fingernails
>MFW The first time I ever fingered a girl, i tore her cunt open with my fingernails
>MFW I almost let her believe it was her period when she texted me to apologize
tl;dr KEEP YOUR FINGERNAILS TRIMMED
#245 - lemleet (04/06/2014) [-]
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