20 Similes to Smile at. Please tell my my title was clever . 1. She walked into my office like a Centipede with 98 missing legs. 2. His thoughts tumbled in his
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20 Similes to Smile at

Please tell my my title was clever

1. She walked into my office like a Centipede
with 98 missing legs.
2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making
and breaking alliances like underpants in a
tumble dryer
3. Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair
after a sneeze.
4. The little boat gently drifted across the
pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn' t.
S. fell 12 stories, hitting the
pavement like a paper bag
filled with vegetable soup.
6. Her eyes were like two brown circles with
big black dots in the
centre
7. The dandelion swayed in the gentle breeze
like an oscillating
electric fan set on medium.
8. Her vocabulary was as bad as, kinda' like,
sorta, whatever.
9. He was as tall as a tree.
10. The hailstones leaped from the pavement,
just like maggots when you
fry them in hot grease
ll. Long separated by cruel fate, the
lovers raced across
the grassy field toward each other like two
freight trains, one
having left Bellina at 6: 36 pm travelling at 55
mph, the other from
4: at a speed of 35 mph.
12. The politician was gone but unnoticed, like
the full stop after the
Dr. on a Dr Pepper can.
13. John and Mary had never met. They were
like two hummingbirds who had
also never met.
The thunder was ominous sounding, much
like the sound of a thin
sheet of metal being shaken backstage during
the storm scene in a
play.
15. The red brick wall was the colour of a
breakered crayon.
16. Even in his last years, Granddad had a
mind like a steel trap, only
one that had been left out so long it had
rusted shut.
17. The plan was simple, like my brother Phil.
But unlike Phil, this
plan just might work.
18. The young fighter had a hungry look, the
kind you get from not
eating for while.
19. "Oh, Jason, take mel" she panted, her
breasts heaving like a student on 50
night.
20. He was as lame as a duck. Not the
metaphorical lame duck either,
but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe
from stepping on a
landmine or something.
...
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Views: 32476
Favorited: 271
Submitted: 06/10/2014
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Comments(54):

[ 54 comments ]

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#3 - makhan (06/11/2014) [-]
"He was as tall as a six foot three inch tree" 10/10
"He was as tall as a six foot three inch tree" 10/10
#27 - ashedust ONLINE (06/11/2014) [-]
This content is good, just like a grilled cheese sandwich that is also good.

#17 was actually kinda cool in a mean way.
#31 - skittlesareepic (06/11/2014) [-]
4th one reminds me of this
#37 - trapt (06/11/2014) [+] (2 replies)
I hope this is rolled completely out of context
User avatar #30 - louiewhat (06/11/2014) [-]
She danced like nobody was watching, but people were watching and she looked like a twat.
#24 - honkan (06/11/2014) [-]
A few of these are in the content, but some are different.
User avatar #1 - vgmddg (06/10/2014) [+] (1 reply)
Your title was clever. This post is also clever. I like it.
User avatar #7 - theturtletrolley (06/11/2014) [+] (4 replies)
I actually though 16 was good, kinda sad even
#35 - ubercookieboy ONLINE (06/11/2014) [+] (3 replies)
I read every single one of those in this guys voice
#20 - sandwichchaser ONLINE (06/11/2014) [+] (2 replies)
MFW I work directly between Ballina and Claremorris, and there is no train that goes direct....
MFW I work directly between Ballina and Claremorris, and there is no train that goes direct....
User avatar #36 - traveltech (06/11/2014) [-]
The plan was simple, like my brother Phil.
But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

Loved that one
#46 - asdffes (06/11/2014) [-]
I read all of these in this guys voice.

Not much of a stretch, I'm pretty sure quite a few come from the naked gun/ airplane movies.
User avatar #49 - pluto (06/11/2014) [+] (1 reply)
hey I'm as tall as a 6"3 inch tree
User avatar #50 to #49 - pluto (06/11/2014) [-]
I MEAN **** IM A FORMER PLANET IN OUTER SPACE ************
User avatar #48 - zerodim (06/11/2014) [-]
8. Her vocabulary was as bad as, kinda' like, sorta, whatever.

Tumblr for dummies everybody
User avatar #26 - vladhellsing (06/11/2014) [-]
Read these in Stephen Fry's voice.
#22 - malvolio (06/11/2014) [+] (3 replies)
Centipedes don't have 100 legs though...
Centipedes don't have 100 legs though...
#53 - twomd (06/11/2014) [-]
She was on my bed, and not wearing any clothes. The look in her eyes was undeniable; She wanted something. The toys were laid out on the sheet so I would have no trouble figuring out her intentions.That night I gave her the bone, like never before. What made this time remarkable was the bone was chicken and peanut butterflavor. I love my dog.
User avatar #6 - idoliam (06/11/2014) [+] (3 replies)
I say this every time I comment on this picture.

Number 8 is actually pretty clever.
User avatar #5 - demandsgayversion (06/11/2014) [+] (2 replies)
This is horrible. You took the time to transcribe a tumblr post or tweet or whatever it was? You looked at the words, and then copied them in paint or something. That's a lot of work to steal a thing. Just do it shamelessly like a normal person.
User avatar #9 to #5 - toosexyforyou (06/11/2014) [-]
This has been posted on Funnyjunk before Tumblr even existed.
#4 - gazmus (06/11/2014) [-]
4: The ships hung in the sky much like bricks dont.

Someone been reading Hitchhikers.
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