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Today at school I had the most pleasurable **** that I can recall. I didn't meet anyone on my way into the John, and as I was alone in my stall in an otherwise empty washroom, I came to the realization that the cold seat I was sitting on had not been vacated only moments before by an unknown hamplanet as was the usual course. There was no gaseous expulsions from neighboring stalls wafting into my nasal passages (oh the beauty of the empty John!). I did not need a strained grunt to drop that fecal material, it just gently slid out, I tried to recall what I had eaten as I wondered what combination of edibles would provide for such a satisfying evacuation of my bowel. There was no scrape of an inadequately chewed peanut or jalapeno burn as my sphincter clamped shut, and no cold splash of water onto my anus or butt cheeks. I will be ranking this turd expulsion as 10/10, and the one to which all future poo will be compared. A most satisfying dump, and one must enjoy the simple pleasures in life....

TLDR anonemous talks ****